Page 13 of Oh Christmas Tree
And we both freeze.
“Chloe?” a woman’s voice sounds, hesitantly and unsure.
“Shit, shit shit!” Chloe curses.
“Language!” That same woman says, a little stronger this time.
“Can you please turn around, Mom? I uhm… Will be with you in a sec.”
Grumbling and shuffling make me dare to look to my right, where I see three humans standing with their backs towards us.
“You are lucky your dad’s not here, lady,” her mom huffs.
We entangle ourselves, and Chloe tries to pull her dress down to appear somewhat decent. It’s a struggle, with her being high on my spores, and she sways slightly and almost falls over. My branches reach out and catch her, which sends her into a fit of giggles. “All done,” she yells, and I try to submerge myself into the shadows, but a strong voice calls out.
“Not so fast, you.”
I freeze and look at Chloe, but she shrugs and giggles some more.
I take a deep breath and hold Chloe’s hand to keep her steady. She gives me the biggest smile before she takes my hand and we step forward into the light.
15
CHLOE
What a clusterfuck this is. My mom, aunt, and uncle are coming out to get some more firewood, only being distracted by weird sounds and finding us fucking against the woodshed. Stupid, stupid, I didn’t hear a thing. I was so obsessed with Ced and their magic mushroom dick that I was utterly oblivious to the world outside.
Gaah… I feel like I am still oblivious to the world outside. Usually, Ced’s spores make me mellow and happy. However, with this particular predicament, I am launched into a fit of giggles, and it takes everything to keep track of the conversation.
When we enter the cottage, there’s a lot of gasping and disbelief, but Ced is well-mannered, and they quickly won my mom over, so they took us back inside. It may help that I’m currently incapable of talking and staring at them with heart-eyes.
My nephews were already asleep, thank God, but the entire freaking family is playing board games in the livingroom. The moment we enter, they’re all quiet, and somebody drops their glass.
It’s so funny, I almost pee myself laughing, making my mom scold me, but I can’t keep it together anymore.
“You should see your faces!” And I make my way over to the kitchen to grab a glass of wine.
My mom gives me a pointed look, but I shrug. It may not be the best decision right now, but this is an extraordinary situation.
My family recovers quickly, guiding us all to the couches, where we play 20 questions.
They don’t buy it when I say Ced’s a cosplayer, maybe because their branches refused to behave, but they winked and said it would be alright. That’s when they took over and started explaining everything.
I’m not really paying attention because I am stoned out of my mind, and when I hear my grandma cackling, I realize they have been trying to get my attention.
“Oh, give that poor girl a break, she’s obviously high on that magic mushroom dick,” she says. “Is it as good as I remember?” And I spit out my wine across the table.
“MOM!” my aunt yells, and everybody is shocked and silent once again. She covers my 19-year-old cousin’s ears, but he just grins from ear to ear.
Grandma shrugs. “I may be old now, but I had an entire life before you were even a sperm cell in your father’s ballsack.”
Tears of laughter stream down my face, and Ced pats me on the back before he turns towards Grandma.
“You met one of my kind?” Ced’s eyes sparkle, and they turn all their charm to Grandma, who has glassy eyes and a faraway smile.
“Oh yes, I was spending the winter in Finland, I had anaunt who moved there, and she invited me to spend the winter with her after I graduated from college.”
My eyes widen. “You went to college?”
