Page 118 of A Very Merry Enemy
“I can’t help it.” The words come out before I can stop them. “Look at him.”
“Oh, I’m looking.” Tricia sounds amused as she snags a glass of champagne from a server. “And he can’t seem to keep his eyes off you.”
I study my sister. “What?”
“He’s been watching you since you walked in here. He’s just better at being subtle than you are.” She squeezes my arm. “This is harder than you thought it would be, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“Letting yourself have what you’ve always wanted.” She tilts her head toward Lucas. “He’s right there, and I can tell you want to go over there and climb him like a tree.”
“Tricia!” But I’m laughing because she’s not wrong.
“What? Am I lying?” She grins at me. “You heard those vows. You watched Jake and Claire promise forever to each other. And the whole time you were imagining Lucas saying those words to you.”
“I wasn’t?—”
“Holiday, I know you better than you know yourself. Don’t lie to me.” She uses her big sister tone. “It’s okay to want him. It’s okay to be scared and want him anyway.”
“I’m trying to be realistic about this,” I confess.
“You’re trying to be safe.” She touches my arm. “But I know you came back to Merryville for him. You left Paris. You left Dominic. You came home. And we both know it wasn’t because you couldn’t find a job anywhere else.”
“Tri—”
“Stop overthinking everything.” Her voice is firm now. “That man has been in love with you since you were teenagers. And you’ve been in love with him just as long. Everyone knows it. I saw the articles. I’ve read every one. The whole town knows. So, what are you waiting for?”
“For him,” I say. “He’s being cautious with me. Wants to make sure that I’m sure.”
“Then be sure.” She smiles. “Let yourself want him. Let yourself have him. Tell him. Stop being so afraid of being happy.”
Before I can respond, someone calls Tricia’s name from across the tent. She excuses herself with a knowing look, leaving me standing there with my champagne and my racing thoughts.
Mawmaw walks over. “She’s right, you know.”
“Mawmaw, please?—”
“My Lucas has been in love with you your entire life. And you’ve been in love with him just as long.” She touches my hair the way she used to when I was little. “I know you’re scared, sweetheart. I know Dominic hurt you and made you doubt yourself. But Lucas isn’t Dominic.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” Her green eyes search mine. “Because it seems like you’re punishing yourself for Dominic’s mistakes. And that’s not fair to either of you.”
The words hit harder than I expect. “I’m not.”
“What’s stopping you?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
“Yes, you do.” She squeezes my hand and then pulls me into a hug. “Stop being afraid, sweetheart. Stop letting your past dictate your future. Lucas would move heaven and earth for you. Let him.”
She pulls back and wipes at my eyes before my tears can fall. Then she drifts away to talk to some other guests, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I take another sip of champagne and let myself look at Lucas again. Our eyes meet across the tent, and the heat in his gaze makes my mouth go dry.
He doesn’t look away, and neither do I.
The moment stretches between us, loaded with everything we haven’t said. Everything we’ve been holding back. Then someone says something to him and he’s forced to turn away.
