Page 16 of Slaughtered Firefly
“Stateside for three weeks, the school year starts Monday,” she rolled her eyes, and I chuckled.
“It’s really good to see you Firefly, I’ve missed you.”
She looked down at her lap, setting her pizza back in the box.
“What’s wrong?” I asked gently, trying to figure out why my firefly was so meek all of a sudden.
I set down my own food and patted my lap so that she could sit on it.
“Remember when we were kids and I found you screaming, begging to be let out of that shed? I thought you were the bravest thing I’d ever seen,” I stroked her hair as I continued on. “I didn’t know the horrors you faced when I wasn’t there, I only knew what you did after I opened the door. You have so much strength in you little firefly don’t let anyone squash your light.”
There was a silence as I stroked her hair, holding her, and I wished this silence would stay forever. It was one of the few times she let me hold her demons at bay.
“It’s different now, I’ve done horrible things, I’ve killed, and I didn’t like it at first but I do now. Does that make me a bad person?” She asked, and I turned her towards me so we were face to face.
“We all have evil inside of us. I don’t care if you kill one man or a hundred men. It doesn’t change my opinion of you. Youare my firefly; you are my light in the darkest of night, my glow against the setting sun and I’ll always remember that you’re the one that saved me, not the other way around,” I swiped at the tears streaming down her face.
“Why don’t you love me like the others do?” she sobbed out.
I figured she would ask this question eventually, and it was a struggle within myself for the answer. Hatred simmered inside me when she played the role of a sex doll. I hated myself even more for not rescuing her from that.
“What those sick depraved men do is not love, they do not love you Summer. I am a twisted, corrupt, and deviant person, but I will not cross that line. If you hate me for it, so be it, but I will never hurt you,” I whispered.I will never hurt you again …I thought.
I wanted this moment to last a century, the innocence still overwhelming the guilty in a battle of wills. I would never be her knight in shining armor like she portrayed me to be. That was not my role. I had already wronged my firefly once, and I wouldn’t make the mistake again. Simple yet complicated. I would watch her grow into a woman of successful talent, and when the time came, I would be her harbinger of death, but for now I would let her have a sense of normalcy.
I rolled over,feeling for her. When my hand came up empty, I shot up. Panic gripped me as I frantically searched for my firefly.
“Go back to sleep, I’m ok,” her voice came from the balcony. Wind rustled her nightgown as she perched on the railing.
“What are you doing out there?” I called to her, getting out of the bed and walking to the archway.
“Contemplating if throwing myself from this height would be a thunk or a splat,” she giggled out as her legs continued to dangle.
“Let’s see, we are on the fifth floor, providing you don’t hit any other railings on the way down it would be more of a crunch,” I came around her backside and pulled her close to my chest. “I could throw you, you’d probably hit that beat-up red sedan, then you don’t have to worry about doing it yourself,” I whispered into her hair as I picked her up and held her over the railing by her arms.
“No,” she squeaked, fear clouding her eyes, and her breaths came quickly.
“No? I thought we were planning your end?” I loosened my grip on her hand, and she screamed.
“Cole, pull me back please,” she cried out as tears streamed down her face.
“If I pull you back up, promise me something,” I relaxed my grip on her hand, pretending to drop her, and she screamed again.
“Okay I’ll promise just don’t drop me!” Summer pleaded, and I laughed.
“Promise me, that if you ever want to end your life again, you’ll let me do it,” I said in a serious tone.
“Why?” she balked, surprised at my request.
“Doesn’t matter why, promise me you’ll let me,” I ground out.
“Okay fine I promise just pull me up please,” she begged. I pulled her up over the railing and led her inside.
“Sit down,” I motioned to the bed, sighing heavily. I was tired, and the last thing I wanted to do was explain to my little firefly why she couldn’t just throw herself off the hotel balcony. She sat cross-legged on the bed looking at me with contempt, but said nothing. I put my hand on hers and guided it to herchest. “You feel that heartbeat racing? That heartbeat and your attitude towards me dangling you off the side of the balcony are the reasons you don’t want to die. You may think you’re tough, but as soon as you experienced the real possibility of dying you panicked. Do you understand me?” I cupped her cheek, willing her to see the truth in my words.
“I get it, you asshole,” she spat out, and I laughed, hugging her close to me.
“Never do that again, you promised so there’s no going back, now let’s go back to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow.” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, tears still dried on her face as I pulled her into a warm embrace.
