Page 94 of The Holiday Fakers
My teeth grind together as rage floods my mouth, crystallizing into hard words of anger.
How fuckingdarehe? Brody wasn’t some high school jock who saw me as a notch on his hockey stick. He was a good guy, Ethan’s best friend. And my saintly older brother has no leg to stand on. He and Olivia were having sex when they were bothsixteen, so why deny me someone I loved, just as they loved each other?
I’m shaking now.All this time. Twelve years that I could have been with Brody. Over a decade spent trying to find someone—anyone—who could make me feel even ten percent of what I felt for him.
If Ethan hadn’t stepped in, we would have been together. I know this in my bones. I would have shown him that he didn’t need to chase fame the way he has, or run from Hideaway. We could have grown together, and it would have been a beautiful adventure for both of us. He wouldn’t have acted out because he would have known he was loved. He was perfect, just as he was.
Yes, Brody left Hideaway and never came back, and why would he when his best friend in the whole world told him he wasn’t good enough?
“Oh, look, Martha, honey! It’s starting to snow!” Mom says, catching a snowflake on her glove and holding it out for her to see.
And that little girl is the only reason I bite my tongue and swallow my fury. I can’t even speak right now, so I hang back as everyone greets each other, gripping Brody’s arm as if it’s the only thing stopping me from launching myself at my brother.
“Daddy took me to the spring to make a wish!” Martha is telling Mom.
“And what did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true!”
“But the Hideaway spring is magical,” Mom replies. “Every wish comes true, so you can tell me.”
Martha doesn’t sound convinced. “I’ll think about it.”
She looks up at Ethan and pokes the end of his nose. “Daddy, don’t you have something to say?”
He faces Brody and clears his throat. “I …”
“We hadwords,” Martha says to Brody. “And now he’s going to say sorry. Aren’t you, Daddy?”
Ethan nods. “I was out of line yesterday, and I want to apologize.”
“No need,” Brody replies. “We’re cool.”
My grip on his arm intensifies, and he puts his hand over mine, stroking the back of it.
“I wondered if you wanted to come to my place after the race for a bit, watch the game?” Ethan asks.
Brody looks at me as if he needs my permission.
Using all of my willpower, I force a smile.
“Yeah,” Brody says. “That would be great.”
Martha claps. “And I can give you the tour, Uncle Brody.”
He gives her a genuine smile. “I’d like that.”
“Great!” Mom says enthusiastically. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I need a hot dog and some spiced cider.”
“Let me get them,” Brody says. “What does everyone want?”
Mom raises her hands as if to stop him, but Dad gives her a look, and she puts them in her pockets. He knows that Brody needs this. This is him saying thank you to all of us and building bridges with my brother.
Brody takes everyone’s orders, then goes to the food tent with me and Cara so we can help carry it all back.
The snow is still falling, but not enough to make it impossible to be outside, and the hot food warms us up from the inside out. There’s no chance to talk to Brody right now, so I listen to the chatter about the race. Hudson has been training all winter and is pumped.
“You’d better be ready at the finish line to take my picture when I win,” he tells Mia.
