Page 59 of The Holiday Fakers
“I’ve got a veto on all photos,” Marv says. “Don’t worry. I won’t release any that look like Brody’s got a stick up his butt.”
Piper giggles. “I’m sure Lola sells sparkly ones for that explicit purpose.”
I huff out a laugh. “Thanks for being so cool about this.”
She gives me a quick curtsy. “That’s what fake girlfriends are for.”
A smile hovers in the air between us, like it’s ours and it’s precious.
I break away, going to the back of the store as the women return with glasses, jugs of steaming glögg, and a book of raffle tickets.
“Please, let me help.”
Two cats follow the women into the room, then spring onto one of the sofas and curl up next to each other.
“Clitopatra and Meowyoncé,” Lola says with a twinkle in her eye. “This is, after all, a place that celebrates the pussy.”
Piper laughs. “They’re beautiful.”
“They certainly are. Regal, self-assured, and used to being worshipped. Just like every woman should be.” She smiles at me. “It’s nearly ten. You ready?”
“As much as I’ll ever be.”
“Awesome, I’ll let them in. Erica, Cara, Miriam, please, could you help me serve the glögg?”
“Has it got alcohol in it?” Marv asks.
“Yes, aquavit,” Lola replies.
He presses a hand over his lined forehead. “Great. I’ll take two.”
“There’s also a non-alcoholic one in the green jug, if anyone would prefer that.”
“Not today, ma’am,” Marv says. “But Brody’ll have it.”
Thankfully, Lola doesn’t bat an eyelid. “Sure thing. Right, let’s get everyone inside.”
Lola welcomes everyone in, handing a raffle ticket to each woman.
I straighten my spine and go into schmooze mode, making sure to engage with each person while Piper greets old friends and acquaintances. I’m trying to focus on who I’m talking to, but in the background, I’m aware of Piper spinning the tall tale about our fake relationship. Thank God, we kept it simple.
My shoulders relax more as I interact with the customers. They’re nice people, and my guard slowly drops.
Soon, I’m taking selfies with them and leaving voice notes for their kids, telling them to tidy their rooms, or for their husbands, informing them their wives are with me in The Perfect Package,so they’d better up their game tonight. The women are hilarious, and my cheeks ache from smiling so much.
I catch Piper’s eye, and she grins at me, her face full of life and light.
“Okay, everyone,” Lola calls. “It’s way past ten o’clock, but what happens in The Perfect Package stays in The Perfect Package. Am I right?”
Glasses are raised as people cheer.
“Brody, Piper, let’s have you up here!”
“Me?” Piper asks.
“Absolutely,” Lola replies. “It’s a two-for-the-price-of-one deal today!”
I hold my hand out for Piper, and she takes it, her cheeks pinking. We make our way over to the counter where the calendar is, and Mia gets into position for the shot.
