Page 47 of The Holiday Fakers
I relax a little and grin. “I think we should count ourselves lucky the pastor isn’t next door, waiting to marry us.”
She holds the side of her head. “Can you imagine if I were still dating Colin, and I brought him home to this? He’d be out the window and back to Brooklyn before the end of the song!”
My stomach twists at the thought of any other man being with Piper, even though it’s nothing to do with me. Is she still in love with Colin? Does she wish he was here instead of me?
Piper swivels. “I mean,candles? In an old wooden house? Hudson would have a fit if he knew. Androse petals? Oh my god, Brody, Mom’s lost her mind.”
She goes to the nightstand and lifts a box from the top. “Tissues. Of course.” Then she carefully opens the drawer, as if expecting a spider to leap out. “Oh, for goodness’ sake.”
“What is it?”
She holds up a box of chocolates.
“That’s not too bad.”
Then, she lifts out a small bottle.
“What’s that—holyshit…” Yep, Mrs Locke has supplied us with a bottle of lube.
Now I’m laughing as hard as Piper is, my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound.
The fact that we’re trying to hide our hysteria, rather than the sounds of sex, makes us laugh even harder. We end up leaning on opposite sides of the bed, doubled over.
“Thank … thank God I’m doing this with you,” Piper finally says. “I don’t think anyone else would be able to cope.”
I straighten, wiping my eyes and smiling at her. “Likewise. We’ve got this.” I hold out my fist, and she bumps hers againstit. I’m no longer worried about what we’re doing. We’re friends, and we’re on the same team. It’s gonna be easy.
“I know the daybed’s gone, but I’ll be fine sleeping on Barry,” I say.
“Huh?”
I gesture to the rug on the floor. “Barry the bear.”
Piper kneels down beside it. “It’s a sheepskin.”
“Bear sounds cooler.”
She grins up at me. “Barry, it is, then, but there’s no way you’re sleeping here. It’s still hard as nails, and there’s a draft from under the door.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Do you think I could sneak into Ethan’s old room?”
“No way. Can you imagine what Mom would do if she found out? We’d be in couples’ counseling by the end of the day.”
Piper sighs. “Look, this bed is crazy big, and I’m a really sound sleeper, so there’s no way I’m gonna roll onto your side and accidentally feel you up.”
“We’re friends,” she continues, “and if you pretend the last twelve years didn’t happen, then we’re actually really close friends. I don’t even remember a time in my life when you weren’t around, and I trust you as much as I trust either of my brothers. Actually, I trust you way more. If I had to share a bed with Hudson, he’d eat beans all day so he could fart all night.”
“Nah, he’d only do that to Mia.”
“True, they’re gifted at annoying each other.”
Piper unzips one of her bags and rummages around. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”
“Go ahead.”
She stands, holding a pair of pajamas and a wash bag. “I won’t be long. Who knows what Mom’s stashed in the closet or the dresser? But there should be enough room if you wanted to unpack.”
“Sure.”
