Page 46 of The Holiday Fakers
Her lower lip wobbles, but she nods. She knows Ethan loves her to the moon and back, but she also knows that when he sets a boundary, it’s not going anywhere.
Before long, it’s just Brody and me with my parents, and when they decide to turn in early, I know the inevitable can’t be put off any longer. We’ve got to find a way to sleep apart without anyone knowing.
My folks are over the moon that we’re no longer staying at the hotel, and they follow us all the way up to my childhood room. I’m small enough to fit on the daybed, which will help with any awkwardness, but when I push open the door and step through, my stomach drops.
The room has been completely remodeled. The old wallpaper, stained from where teenage me had stuck up posters, has been replaced with a delicate floral design that I can’t help but love.
My old bed has been replaced with a queen-sized one, and the white counterpane is strewn with hundreds of pink rose petals.
And the daybed Mia used to sleep on when we were kids? The one piece of furniture my fake relationship with Brody can’t function without?
Gone.
CHAPTER 9
BRODY
“What do you think?” Erica asks, her excited tone telling us there’s only one acceptable reaction to her turning her daughter’s bedroom into a honeymoon suite.
Piper makes a strangled noise that could either convey ecstasy or horror. I know which one to bet on, but her mom’s racing a hundred miles an hour in the opposite direction.
“Oh, honey, I was just so excited you were bringing your beau home for the holidays that I wanted to do something special for you both!”
I glance around the space, half expecting to see a bowl of condoms on the nightstand. But then I realize the only reason Erica hasn’t provided them is because she wants nothing to come between her and the prospect of more grandkids.
“M-mom …” Piper manages. “What … Where is?—”
“And you’ve got the bathroom next door all to yourselves. I wanted to knock down the wall and turn it into a privatebathroom, but we didn’t have time between Thanksgiving and now.”
Erica moves to the dresser and lights—actual fucking candles.
What next? A bearskin rug? Oh, there it is, on the floor where the daybed used to be. Well, I suppose it’s gonna be more comfortable than sleeping on the wooden boards.
“We brought up Hudson’s old CD player from the basement,” Erica continues. “And I’ve left some of my favorite music for you.”
“Why don’t we leave them to it?” John says from his position by the door. He’s obviously supporting his wife, but I’m sure he’s not as enthusiastic as she is about creating the ultimate shag pad for their daughter.
“Just a moment, honey,” she replies, then presses a button on the CD player.
The opening bars ofEndless Lovefill the room, and I close my eyes, hoping that when I open them, I’ll find myself back in my apartment in New York and that all of this would have been a fever dream.
Unfortunately, when I do, it’s to discover Erica sashaying across the room toward John as they sing the lyrics to each other.
Kill. Me. Now.
I can’t even look at Piper. Thankfully, she’s facing away, her posture rigid, like someone turned her to stone.
“Happy snuggle time, kids!” Erica says, and I wonder if she’s drunk or if there are hidden cameras recording our reactions.
The door closes behind them and it’s just me and Piper, along with Diana and Lionel crooning about endless love.
Piper’s shoulders shake slightly, and a brief flare of panic rushes through me, fearing she’s crying.
Then she faces me, laughing hysterically.
I suppose it’s a better choice than a mental breakdown.
“What … the fuck!” she whispers between silent laughs. “I’m so sorry!”
