Page 167 of The Holiday Fakers
“Well—” Piper begins.
“You need to hurry up. Downstairs in five, okay?”
Before either of us can reply, she runs out of the room and down the corridor, leaving the secret Hideaway elf’s present on the bed with us.
I chuckle. “Why do I get the feeling she’ll be back up in four minutes to check on us?”
Piper kisses me on the cheek. “Because you know her well. How’s the King’s jewels? Still in one piece?”
I huff. “Only just.”
“Want me to kiss them better?”
I glance at the wide-open door just as Martha’s voice floats up the stairs, yelling, “Hurry up!”
Piper giggles. “Maybe later.” She hops out of bed and goes to the window. “Snowing already,” she says, grinning at me over her shoulder. “Merry Christmas Eve, boyfriend.”
I smile back. “Merry Christmas Eve, girlfriend,” I reply, even though inside I’m thinking, “Merry Christmas Eve, wife.”
“Don’t say a word,”Marv says, his palm raised as if he’s stopping traffic. “Not a f—fudging word.”
He’s wearing his camel-colored greatcoat and cashmere muffler, but a lurid green-and-red elf hat with a bell at the end is perched on his head, and bright red circles have been painted on his cheeks. He looks like a member of the mafia trying to hide out in Santa’s workshop.
“Go ahead, laugh,” he continues testily as Piper and I crack up. “You should look in a mirror yourself.”
Both Piper and I are also wearing elf hats and have rosy red circles on our cheeks, courtesy of Harper’s face paints. Piper looks so cute I can’t stop sneaking kisses from her.
We’re in the town square, getting briefed on the elf treasure hunt by John and Erica, who are dressed as Mr and Mrs Claus. I realize now why John grows a beard for Christmas. I think he’s been in that red-and-white suit more than his regular clothes since we arrived.
“You’ll be at your stations between two and three this afternoon,” John says. “You’ve been given your scripts, but feel free to embellish them. When each child works out the answer to your riddle, give them a magical token and stamp their treasure map. And remember, you can always help the little ones out.”
Mia’s taking photos and is currently up in Hudson’s face, whose cheeks are rapidly turning the same color as the spots Harper painted on them ten minutes ago.
“Then back here for hot chocolate and cookies at about five past three,” John continues. “Okay, any questions?”
Mia raises a hand. “What’s Hudson’s elf name this year? Frownie, Cranky, or Grouch?”
John laughs. “You’re going to hurt hiself-esteem. This year he’s Sparky.”
Erica claps her hands. “Let’s do a roll call! Do we have Tinsel?”
A woman waves. “Here!”
“Doodle?”
“Here!” Piper says.
“King Jingle?”
I give Erica a wave. “Present and accounted for.”
“Sprinkle …? Fizzle …? Twinkle …? Bubbles …? Glimmer …? Snickerdoodle …? Pickle …? Nibbles …?” Erica continues as people around us raise their hands.
“Sparkle …? And finally, last but by no means least, Big Apple?”
Marv reluctantly raises a hand.
“All here, Mr Claus!” Erica says to John.
