Page 37 of Christmas off Script
‘Buttons grabs a broom,’ Libby said.
‘I can do that,’ Leo said.
Ella laughed. ‘Oh, Buttons, you are funny.’
‘So, that’s the sweeping box ticked,’ Leo continued. ‘What else does your one true love have to do?’
‘He will be kind.’
‘Buttons pats his pockets, finds some more sweets and reluctantly throws them into the audience,’ Libby continued.
‘That’s me,’ Leo said. ‘And what does he look like?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Most likely tall, dark and handsome.’
Like those pricks, Zach and Oliver, Leo thought bitterly.
‘Buttons grabs a navy tea towel and puts it on his head, then stands on a chair,’ Libby said.
‘Look, Ell-Cinderella, your dream man is right here!’
‘Buttons, you are the sweetest. Thank you for cheering me up. But you’re mybestfriend, not my boyfriend.’
‘Music starts,’ Libby said. ‘And Ella dances with the mop around the kitchen whilst singing, “I Want To Know What Love Is”, by Foreigner. Buttons joins in with adapted lyrics, trying to tell Cinders that he is the man for her. After the song, a klaxon sounds.’
‘Buttons!’ Ella cried.
‘Cinderella!’ Leo answered.
‘They’re here!’ they both said together.
‘Buttons and Cinderella dash around the kitchen, tidying, as the two ugly sisters enter through the audience,’ Libby continued.
Arthur got to his feet and struck a pose. ‘Dontcha wish your girlfriend was as hot as me?’ he roared.
Steve stood, wiggling his hips. ‘Dontcha wish your girlfriend was as sexy as me?’
‘Fanny picks on a man in the audience,’ Libby said.
Arthur sat with a thump on Scott’s lap. ‘Well hello, sailor! Is this the bus stop? ’Cos I am here to pick you up!’
Scott snorted with laughter.
‘What’s your name, gorgeous?’
‘Scott.’
‘And where are you from?’
‘Foxbrooke.’
‘Ooh, very la-di-dah! I had a tryst with the Duke of Somerset once.’
‘Oh, no, you didn’t,’ Steve retorted.
‘Oh, yes, I did!’
‘Oh, no, you didn’t,’ everyone chorused.
