Page 141 of Christmas off Script
Ella spun faster as Finn flashed the lights on and off. Suddenly, there was an almighty bang, and she flinched as a shower of confetti came over the back of the set behind her.
‘Dad! For fuck’s sake!’ she heard Leo growl.
‘Ta-da!’ Dervla rushed forward to brush the skirts of Ella’s dress down, revealing the ball gown as the audience clapped.
‘Thank you!’ Ella managed, as her heart hammered inside her chest. ‘This is so beautiful!’
‘Fit to win the heart of a prince!’
‘But I don’t want a prince.’
‘Saywhatnow?’
‘I’ve fallen in love with Dandini.’
‘Dan-who-ni?’
‘A handsome man I met in the enchanted forest.’
Dervla gave a loud harrumph. ‘Well, that’s not who I saw you marrying in my crystal ball. Did he have a beard?’
‘A fake one.’
‘Ah! It’s all becoming clear.’
‘It is?’
‘Yep, all will be revealed in the palace ballroom. Now, have you got any shoes?’
Ella lifted up the hem of her dress to show her bare feet.
‘Oh, that won’t do. It’s not a hoe down.’ Dervla rummaged in a large bag hanging from her shoulder and pulled out a pair of glass shoes. ‘Try these.’
Ella put them on and gave a twirl. ‘Thank you!’
‘Now, just before I get your transportation sorted, I need you to accept the Terms and Conditions.’
‘Of what?’
‘My pro bono enchantment services.’
‘Oh. Okay, I accept.’
‘You don’t know what they are yet!’ Dervla took a scroll from her bag, dropping the bottom end, so the paper unrolled all the way to the floor. ‘Do you want the full version, or the highlights?’
Ella glanced at the kitchen clock. ‘The highlights, please.’
‘Rightie ho.’ Dervla cleared her throat. ‘First, I must make you aware that all magic is monitored for quality and training purposes. My name is Fairy Cakes. May I call you Cinderella?’
‘You may.’
‘Jolly good. Now here are the Terms and Conditions for Enchantment Services, short version. Point one: Agreement to Terms. By accepting the services provided by the Fairy Godmother, hereinafter referred to as the “Service Provider,” you, the recipient, hereinafter referred to as the “Client,” agree to abide by the following terms and conditions.
‘Point two: Nature and Duration of Services. The Service Provider will transform your attire into an evening gown and your transportation into a pumpkin carriage with accompanying footmen and horses. The aforementioned transformations are strictly temporary and will cease precisely at midnight on the day of the service.’
‘Midnight?’
‘Yes. The magic’s only viable for today. And anyway, by then you’ll probably have blisters. Those shoes don’t exactly look comfortable. Right. Point three: Limitation of Liability. The Service Provider is not liable for any inconvenience or consequences arising from the reversion process. Point four—’
