Page 1 of Christmas off Script
1
Should I be worried?
Huddled under the narrow concrete overhang, her brolly facing the biting November rain, Ella waited for her stepmother to come to the front door.
She might be still asleep?
You told her you’d be earlier today.
Yes, but she’s not great at remembering things.
Or listening.
And if she’s in bed, then she’s got to get down the stairs.
Which is difficult because of—
Wrenching her gaze from the peeling paint of the door, Ella stared at the broken paving slabs beneath her Converse trainers. Despite being the beginning of winter, weeds still shoved their way through the cracks, pushing the weight of the concrete aside.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
How many times had she said those words to herself? Almost enough for her heart to believe it. Yet lurking behind the blame for her stepmother’s injury lay a truth she could never rationalise away.
She’s on her own because of me.
Holding her breath, Ella tensed, fighting down the nausea in her stomach. Even after nine years, the anxiety hadn’t lessened.
Come on. Make yourself useful.
Pressing the doorbell for the third time, she took her phone from her bag and stared at the screen, her thumb hovering over the ‘call’ icon.
What’s the point?
Communication with her stepmother was only ever one way. Michelle rang Ella whenever she wanted anything. However, if Ella rangher, the call wouldn’t be answered.
Opening her message app, Ella gazed at the last texts she’d sent Oliver, her boyfriend of six years.
Ella: Do you know yet if you’re coming back this weekend? Last month you said you’d try to but you haven’t confirmed yet. I can’t believe it’s been ten weeks since we’ve seen each other! Miss you xxx
Ella: Don’t forget I’m making limoncello and lebkuchen with Leo this afternoon. He’s bringing extra ingredients in case you change your mind about joining in xxx
Ella: Oh, and the read-through for the panto has been moved to Sunday morning, but it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. Maybe you could visit your parents then? Although you’re more than welcome to come along. Last I heard, they still don’t have a Prince Charming, and you’d be perfect for the role! Xxx
Ella: Sorry the weekend’s got so busy and I know it’s a really long journey for such a short time… If you want me to rearrange Leo on Sat then just say. He’ll totally understand xxx
Ella: Every time I’ve called you this week, it’s rung out. Is everything okay? Xxx
Ella: I know you’re super busy, but please let me know if you’re coming later and if you’d rather I put Leo off for another time. Miss you xxxxx
Just over a year ago, Oliver got a new job teaching history at a private school in the north. He taught on Saturday mornings, so only came back home during the holidays or on the occasional weekend. Over the long summer break, he’d spent most of it running a summer school, and had spent the October half-term skiing with year nine students.
His communication had become increasingly sporadic, but Ella refused to worry. If she allowed even a drop of doubt to rain on her love parade, she’d be drowning in it.
The front door opened and Michelle’s puffy face scowled at her. ‘What are you doing here?’
Seeing her stepmother without make-up was always a shock and it took Ella a second to reply. ‘I messaged yesterday to remind you I was coming earlier this morning.’
Michelle tugged the sides of her grubby fleece dressing gown closer, protecting herself from the rain blowing into the house. ‘Why?’
