Page 38 of Christmas Games
Zoe turned to look at Rory, but he’d disappeared.
‘Fear not, Mary,’ Sam continued. ‘For your husband shall returneth sooneth. He might have just poppeth out for a quick bathroom breaketh.’ Laughter rippled around the room. ‘Behold! Thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son or daughter, and thou shalt name him or her whatever the hell you chooseth.’
‘Babe! Stick to the script!’ Brad hissed from the side.
‘The child shall be great, and the Lord God shall give unto him or her the throne of Rory his father; and he or she shall reign in the house of Kinloch forever.’
The audience applauded loudly.
‘And Mary said unto the angel,’ said Brad, looking pointedly at Zoe.
‘Er,’ Zoe began, trying to rack her brains for the next line. ‘Um, but how has this happeneth? For I know not a man.’
‘The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee,’ said Sam. ‘But in a totally consensual, non-creepy manner, so don’t freaketh out.’
‘And Mary said,’ Brad continued.
Shit!WhatdidMary say? ‘Um, thanks for that,’ Zoe replied. ‘Now you’re here. Anything else I should know?’
‘Not at all,’ replied Brad quickly. ‘Then the angel departed from her.’ He gestured for Sam to move, but she didn’t budge. ‘Forthwith, and at great speed!’ he continued.
‘But the angel Gabrielle had just remembered a few more things to sayeth,’ Sam said. ‘Like how Mary is a hot milf, and she can totes see her and Gabrielle becoming BFF-eths.’
Brad stepped onto the dais in front of Sam, his hands raised to stop the laughter.
‘And lo! There appeareth Joseph, who was most pleased because the Holy Ghost had come to him in a dream and explained the situation, so he was totally cool about everything.’
Rory returned to Zoe’s side wearing a long jacket over his clothes that appeared to be made of sacking, and a tea towel on his head.
‘What’s going on?’ she whispered to him.
‘You only got to play the giraffe in your school’s nativity, so I thought you deserved a crack at the main role.’
Taking another tea towel, he placed it on her head and secured it with a woven circlet.
Zoe’s heart was so full she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘So, what happens next?’ she asked.
‘And it came to pass that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered,’ said Brad. ‘Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was heavy with child.’
Rory held out his hand, and Zoe stood. The choir started singing ‘Little Donkey’ as they processed out of the hall, everyone following.
‘Am I going to have to get on the back of a donkey?’ she hissed.
He grinned. ‘Just wait and see.’
9
Zoe exited the castle through the main entrance and started laughing. In front of her was an old open-topped carriage, and pulling it were two Highland cows. A sign was stuck to the side of the carriage with an arrow pointing at the cows and the word: ‘DONKEY’.
One of the cows mooed loudly.
‘Is that Zoe?’ she asked excitedly.
Rory nodded. ‘She was desperate to play the front half of the donkey.’
There was a loud noise as the other cow dumped a large pat on the cobbles.
