Page 21 of Christmas Games
Barbara looked appalled. ‘Aren’t you a little young? And I didn’t think you evenlikedthe concept of Father Christmas?’
That was true. The idea of a strange man entering his bedroom when he was asleep had given Rory nightmares as a child.
‘I thought it might bring more people in if they knew it was the earl in the suit,’ said Zoe.
His mother sniffed. ‘Very well, although he’ll have to work on his fireside manner.’
‘Why are you here?’ Rory asked, as pleasantly as he could manage.
‘Rory!’
‘It’s alright, dear,’ his mother said to Zoe with a smile. ‘I know it’s a little unexpected. We just wanted to congratulate you on reaching the second stage of your gestational journey, and offer our assistance.’
‘How did you know we were in the second trimester?’ Rory asked. Did he need to sweep the cabin for bugs?
‘My shaman, dude!’ said Brad. ‘He’s got his third eye on you.’
Fuck’s sake. ‘Shaman?’
‘Yeah, Jesus.’
‘Christ,’ Rory muttered.
‘No, man, his surname’s de la Cruz.’
‘Darling,’ Barbara interjected, laying her hand on Brad’s arm. ‘You really should pronounce his name “Haysuss”.’
‘But, babe! “Jesus” sounds way sicker.’
‘Bradley,’ his mother said, in a tone Rory knew was a warning.
‘Yes, Countess,’ Brad replied, standing to attention.
Fuck my life.They reallydidhave that dynamic going on.
‘So!’ Zoe said brightly. ‘Your shaman?’
‘Yeah, man! I met him at an Ayahuasca retreat. He’s been watching you for me. That’s how we know how far along you are.’
‘That,’ continued Barbara, ‘and some basic mathematics.’
‘What else has Jesús said about my pregnancy?’ asked Zoe, her hands creeping protectively over her belly.
Rory stepped closer to her side.
‘You’re having a boy, and I’m going to be at the birth,’ Brad replied.
Silence.
‘Itisa little bracing this afternoon, and we have been waiting a while,’ said his mother. ‘Shall we adjourn inside for a cup of tea?’
Inside the cabin,Zoe and Rory sat across the dining table from Barbara and Brad. Zoe chatted happily with Barbara, appearing to have made the decision to ignore Brad’s proclamation for the insanity it was.
Rory, on the other hand, was engaged in a desperate battle to subdue his inner caveman. He thought he’d come to terms with his mother marrying the Hollywood star, howeverimagining Brad present whilst Zoe gave birth made the green mist descend and his caveman Hulk out.
‘So, Zoe dear, how are you feeling?’
Considering how much his mother had hated Zoe in the past, this pleasant side of her was unnerving.
