Page 85 of An Unholy Affair
He forced his gaze to rest on her. The soft light from the fire caressed her cheeks and sent wave after wave of desire flooding through his veins. But her expression broke his heart. A mix of uncertainty and determination.
Whatever she throws at you, you can handle it.
‘Do you believe in fate?’
‘Er…’Didhe? He thought back to his shitty childhood, then to the series of events that led to his career. Some of themdidfeel like fate. ‘I don’t know.’
He didn’t want to ask why. This was an occasion when he wanted to shut a conversation down, not let it grow.
‘I believe in God’s will. And that he has a plan for all of us.’
Okay. So we’re back to Christian vs atheist.
‘A year ago, I was waiting at a bar in London for Estelle. She was deliberately late, hoping someone might approach me.’ Eveline cleared her throat. ‘I was very uncomfortable and started praying to God.’
Jack’s heart rate rose in anticipation as to where this was going.
‘I asked God for a miracle. I asked him for…’—she swallowed—‘…for the right person for me. And the very next moment, you said hello.’
‘Eveline, that wasn’t God. It was me. I made a mistake.’
Her lower lip trembled. ‘Do you believe meeting me that night was a mistake?’
‘No! Yes? Fuck!’ He ran his hands through his hair, rapidly losing what little control he thought he had.
‘Jack. I truly believe God sent you to me. Both on that night, and now.’
He shook his head. It couldn’t be true.
‘The moment I saw you,’ she continued. ‘I felt like my soul saw yours. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Ever.’
He hung his head. He couldn’t take her raw and pure honesty. It only illuminated his own darkness and deceptions.
‘Iknowyou feel something for me. It may not be as deep as my feelings for you…’
Fuck!
‘… But I know it’s there.’
He was in hell. This beautiful angel was opening the door to her heart, and he had to shut it in her face.
‘The day before yesterday, you said there was nothing wrong with me,’ she continued, her voice wavering. ‘But there has to be. Please Jack, tell me what it is?’
His head jerked up. Eveline was sitting poker straight, her knees pressed together and her hands on her lap. Her body language was poised, but her eyes were anguished.
‘Is it because I’m five years older than you?’
He shook his head. That was nothing.
‘Is it because your life is in France? Because I could always—’
‘No!’ He could never ask her to give up her calling.
‘Is it the pigs? I know they’re naughty and noisy and rather smelly.’
Shaking his head, he let out a bitter laugh.
‘Is it because I’m a vicar?’
