Page 58 of An Unholy Affair
‘No-one’s and everyone’s. They’re for whenever a man needs to borrow a pair.’
‘Do they get used often?’
She glanced at him. He seemed… stressed? Unhappy? Was he thinking of Simon? Kieran?Isaac?How could she tell him she didn’t have a boyfriend without it seeming so obvious? Surely, what she’d said to him and Simon about her date with Leslie had been clear enough?
‘No,’ she eventually replied. ‘Most people find the pigs too dirty and smelly. The last person who used them was Jonathan.’
Jack’s eyebrows raised, then he quickly lowered them, his face returning to a bland mask.
‘Palmer. He’s the Bishop of Bath and Wells.’
His features softened slightly.
God, I know you sent Jack to me, but was it so I could help him?
He took off his shoes and put on the wellies. ‘Right. Introduce me to a bacon sandwich in training.’
Eveline smiled and led the way around the back of the rectory, through the small, hedge-lined patch of lawn with the bird feeders, and into the main garden.
Jack whistled. ‘It’s huge.’
‘Yes. It was supposed to provide the Vicar and his family with food year around, and also have ornamental areas for entertaining. My predecessor let brambles take over most of it, and it took a while to clear. But pigs are great for that.’
‘Are they good with power tools?’
She laughed. ‘They’re good with roots. I cut the brambles down to the ground and burnt them. The pigs made sure they never came back.’
Jack was gazing over the far wall of the garden, to where Foxbrooke Manor’s parkland lay, with the Dowager House in direct line of sight.
‘You burnt them? I bet Estelle’s granny was over the moon about that.’
‘That was definitely my first black mark. I think she fantasised about sticking me on top of the pyre.’
He smiled. ‘And what was the second thing you did to piss her off?’
‘Oh, one hundred per cent it was the pigs. Then AA meetings, then Sausage Saturday, then—’
‘Sausage Saturday?’
‘Once a month, I make sausage rolls and hot dogs and feed anyone who shows up at the church. If people can afford it, they make a donation and the money goes to the local food bank. If not, then everything’s free.’
Jack was staring at her, a complex mix of emotions on his face—amusement, what looked like awe, but also pain.
‘But what really tipped her over the edge were the pews.’ Eveline continued with a smile. ‘I got the front row removed last year and haven’t heard the end of it.’
‘How did you manage that?’
‘They were so close to the altar that there was a really tight turning space for coffins. Unfortunately, we had an incident…’
His eyes lit up. ‘Anincident?’
She felt the first blush of the day filling her cheeks and strode towards the small shed which housed the pig feed.
‘Oh, come on, now,’ he said, following her. ‘You can’t say there was an “incident” and not tell me what it was.’
Opening the door, she handed him a bucket. ‘Can you please fill this to the black mark with pellets from that metal bin?’
He took it. ‘Sure. Will you tell me what happened if I do?’
