Page 71 of Love ad Lib
‘How on earth would you know that?’
Arthur shrugged. ‘Sock wasn’t on the doorknob. Ergo, open for visitors.’ He gazed out into the middle distance. ‘Thirty, eh. By the time I was your age, I had two wives and six kids.’ He winked at Henry. ‘Chop, chop.’ He inclined his head towards Libby. ‘I want grandchildren and you two are my best bet.’
‘Dad!’
Arthur grinned and went to a chest of drawers, opening it and rummaging around.
‘Aha!’ He pulled out a sock. ‘No excuses now. I’ll put it on the handle outside for you.’
Henry pushed his father towards the door.
‘Ooh, do you think you might have twins, Libby?’ Arthur called over his shoulder. ‘They run in our family. Any on your side?’
She sunk her head into her hands as Henry slammed the door.
‘Sock’s on!’ Arthur yelled from the corridor. ‘Condoms off!’
The slap slap of his carpet slippers faded as he walked away.
Libby looked up. Henry’s eyes were pinched shut.
He opened them. ‘Libby, I am so fucking sorry.’
She let out a breath. ‘Well, that’s one way to wake up.’
He put the tray by her side of the bed. ‘I’m buying a lock for the door today. There’s no way you’re going through that again.’
‘Does he usually wake you up with a cup of tea?’
Henry nodded. ‘It’s one of the things he likes to do. That, and making curries, naturism, and running wild sex parties.’
‘Curries?’
‘Yeah, he spent a few years in India on the hippy trail and fell in love with the food.’
‘I love making curries, too.’
‘I remember you said that at the workshop. Have you been to India?’
She shook her head. ‘But I was brought up in Birmingham, remember. It’s the home of the Balti. My father said curry was part of Brummie culture and cured all ills.’
The door banged open and Estelle bounced into the room.
‘Morning! And happy bloody birthday, younger brother.’
‘There was a sock on the door!’ Henry cried.
Estelle sat on the bed, took the cupcake from the tray and bit into it.
‘Yeff,’ she replied. ‘Ut I urd oo alking.’ She swallowed. ‘So, I knew it was safe to enter.’
‘Fuck’s sake!’ Henry rubbed his forehead. ‘And happy birthday,oldersister.’
Estelle grinned at Libby. ‘Twenty minutes, and I’ll never let him forget it.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘And that’s how much time you’ve got before we go into Bath.’
‘Estelle,’ Henry said. ‘We’re not on your deadline here.’
‘Oh, I don’t care if you come or not. But if Libby wants to do the Jane Austen centre, the Circus and Royal Crescent, the Fashion Museum, the Roman Baths, and the theatrical hire shop to get a costume for tomorrow night, then we need to get a move on.’ She looked at Libby and raised an eyebrow. ‘What does Elizabeth Bennet want to do?’
