Page 36 of Love ad Lib
‘I thought that number would allow us to be seated next to each other at dinner.’
She scanned down to paragraph four. ‘“Any acts that involve bodily contact will be initiated solely by Libby Fletcher.”’ She paused. ‘Henry, why is this here?’
He seemed confused. ‘Because I don’t want you to worry that I might touch you.’
‘But what about the other way around? What is there to protectyou?’
‘Protectme? From what?’
‘Me, of course. What if I have one too many of your granny’s sherries and force myself on you?’
He looked so shocked that she laughed.
‘It never crossed my mind that you would,’ he replied.
‘Okay.’ She grinned. ‘Moving on. “Clause nine. If Libby Fletcher is in physical danger, then Henry Foxbrooke may break paragraph one to assure her safety.” How dangerousisSomerset?’
‘Not particularly, but there might be an out-of-control car? Um, a wayward bee? Some food might go down the wrong way? Er, you might fall in the lake or the river?’
She slapped her hand over her mouth, but the laughter spilled out. ‘Do you think I’m a total klutz, or do you moonlight as a Health and Safety Officer? That’s hilarious!’
He looked surprised. ‘It is?’
She reached across the table before thinking and squeezed his hand. ‘You’re naturally funny.’
Henry gazed down at their hands and she removed hers. ‘It’s alright. Paragraph four, remember?’ She brought her attention back to the document and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, let’s see what Appendix one has to offer… “Hard and soft limits and safe words”?’ she squeaked.
‘It’s not what you might think,’ he said quickly.
She read out loud. ‘“If, at any point, Libby Fletcher rescinds in writing paragraph four, then the following points detail her hard and soft limits regarding physical intimacy.” Okay, I’m reading.’
Below the opening statement was a list and next to each item were three boxes. The first was marked ‘Yes (at any time)’, the second was marked ‘Soft Limit (maybe – consent must be requested again)’ and the third was marked ‘Hard Limit (no, under all circumstances)’.
Her heart racing, she scanned down the list.
Hand holding
Arm placed around the shoulder
Hand placed on the small of the back
Hand placed on thigh as long as in public and both parties are fully clothed
Face-to-face hug
Hug from behind
Kiss blown from a distance
Light, closed-lipped kiss on the top of the head
Light, closed lipped kiss on the cheek (facial cheek, not buttock cheek)
She snorted.
‘What is it?’
‘You’ve actually specified face cheek as opposed to arse cheek.’
