Page 28 of Love ad Lib
‘Oh my god! Are you serious?’
‘Yes.’
‘Bloody hell. What on earth is the job? And where is it?’
‘It’s in Somerset, just south of Bath.’
‘Ooh! Jane Austen land. I’ve always wanted to visit Bath.’
He didn’t know how to reply.
‘Go on then,’ she continued. ‘What is it? What do you need an actress for?’
Oh god.
‘Henry?’
He took a big breath. ‘I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend at my thirtieth birthday celebrations.’
Silence.
‘It’s not what you think, I promise,’ he said quickly. ‘We’d have separate bedrooms, no physical contact, and I’ll draw up a contract to protect you—’
‘Protect me? From what?’
‘Er, me?’
‘Are you going to leap on me when I’m unawares?’
‘God, no.’
‘Are you dangerous? Unhinged?’
‘I’m not dangerous, however I’m now thinking I might be a bit unhinged. Sorry.’
Libby laughed. And laughed. And laughed. ‘I think I’m a little delirious from lack of sleep,’ she finally said. ‘So, tell me, Henry. Why do you need a fake girlfriend?’
Ah. He cleared his throat. ‘My family have, er, been rather forceful in their, erm,encouragementof me to have a girlfriend.’
‘Forceful? What did they do? Lock you in a room full of women until you’d chosen one?’
‘Erm…’
‘Oh my god, Henry! They didn’t, did they?’
‘It was my father. But, in fairness, the rooms weren’t locked.’
‘Rooms?’
‘He’d also provided one filled with men.’ Henry squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t told anyone else what had happened that night.
‘Oh, Henry.’ Libby’s voice was so full of empathy and understanding, it pierced his heart. He needed to get off the phone.
‘Look, I know it’s a lot to take in. I want you to go away and think about it, and I’m sure you have a boyfriend, so I want you to talk it over with him as well. It’s also imperative I meet him to explain everything and reassure him that this is completely above board. I’ll draw up a contract, and you can both check it over. We can all meet for a coffee in the next couple of days?’ He didn’t wait for her to respond. ‘I’ve got to go into a meeting now, but we can speak soon. Okay? Thanks. Erm, bye.’
He ended the call and stared at the phone as if it was the cause of his discomfort, not the words that had just come from his mouth. He quickly typed out a text.
Henry: You don’t have to do this. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that.
