Page 27 of Wedding Games
‘But,’ Fiona continued, her hand on her chest, ‘you will love it. Cross my heart and hope to die.’
Could it be Rory?
‘It’s not Rory,’ said Fiona. ‘He’s busy jumping out of a plane.’
‘Say what now?’ Zoe squeaked.
Sam shuddered. ‘Hun, I know exactly how you feel. I tried to watch Jamie jump in training and nearly shat myself.’
‘What? What the fuck?’
‘Charlie thought Rory might miss skydiving, so he arranged for them to go this afternoon,’ said Valentina. ‘Jamie and Duncan have been training, so they can do it too.’
Zoe’s heart was racing at a million miles per hour. Her mouth opened and shut as her brain struggled to choose which one of her thoughts to articulate.
‘It’s fine, Zo,’ said Fiona. ‘You know how safety conscious Duncan is. He wouldn’t be involved with anything that wasn’t one hundred per cent above board.’
Zoe finished her glass of Prosecco in one. She looked at Sam. ‘You happy with Jamie doing this?’
Her friend was terrified of heights but still managed to smile. ‘I’d rather he didn’t, but he really enjoys it so I’m not going to stop him. And anyway, it means we can role play my James Bond fantasies afterwards.’
‘Ew,’ said Fiona, pulling a face. ‘Mybrother, remember?’
Sam put on her Sean Connery voice. ‘Hello there, Msh Adamshon. Ish that a mirror in your knickersh? Because I just shore myshelf in them.’
Fiona made retching noises as everyone else laughed.
‘So, are we coming home after the cocktail making workshop?’ Zoe asked.
The women looked at her as if she’d just suggested they join a nunnery at the end of the night.
‘Not on your nellie,’ replied Fiona. ‘How often do I get to go out and let my hair down? We’re going clubbing.’
Zoe glanced anxiously at Valentina and Sam. Valentina was an international movie star, and until recently, Sam starred on the UK’s most popular soap. In addition to being household names and faces, neither woman was a shrinking violet.
‘Don’t worry, Zoe,’ said Valentina. ‘I promise no one will recognise us.’
‘Are you dressing up as a Stormtrooper?’
‘Ooh!’ said Sam. ‘I should have got a Klingon costume! I could have gone as L’Rell.’
‘And that would have helped us blend in how, exactly?’ Zoe asked.
‘You’re five foot ten and stunningly beautiful,’ replied Sam. ‘And laugh almost as loud as me. You’ll always stand out. But don’t worry. I promise that no one will recognise the third most famous person in Inverness.’
‘Thirdmost famous?’ Fiona asked.
‘Well,’ replied Sam, conspiratorially. ‘I’ve heard the name “Fiona MacDougall” is written on the walls of most men’s toilets. Apparently, if you want a “good time”, you should ring her up.’
Fiona threw her head back and laughed. ‘I’m not just a “good” time. I’m the best. Just ask Dunc.’
Zoe’s worriesabout Sam and Valentina being recognised were unfounded, due to the women’s skills with hair and make-up. Valentina had brought prosthetics and wigs with her from LA, and after an hour, both women looked completely different. Valentina had a light brown bob and glasses, and Sam had brown contacts and long dark hair. The prosthetics were subtle yet effective, and both women had changed the shape of their noses.
‘I’m like a hot Cyrano de Bergerac,’ Sam said as she pouted at herself in the mirror.
Valentina looked at herself critically. ‘Am I Barbara Streisand or Adam Driver?’
Sam chewed her lip. ‘Neither. I think you’re Howard Stern.’
