Page 51 of Wedding Games
‘Woohoo!’ screamed Brad, causing a head-splitting whine of feedback to screech through the speakers.
Zoe covered her ears.
Barbara snatched the microphone from her husband and walked gracefully over to the table where Zoe’s parents were sitting.
‘The father of the bride,’ she said calmly into the mic, before passing it to Arnold.
Zoe breathed a sigh of relief. The only issue now was her dad’s speech and how long it would be.
Charlie ran to the side of the room, returning with a stand on which sat a large digital clock set to 00:00.
‘Hello everyone,’ Arnold began.
Charlie slapped the top of the clock that started a timer, then covered it with a black cloth.
Zoe’s eyes narrowed.
Charlie ignored her, sitting back with a smug smile on his face.
‘On behalf of myself and my wife, Mary,’ Arnold continued. ‘I’d like to thank you all for coming today. I think you’ll agree it really is a rather splendid do, and we’re very grateful to Brad and Barbara for their kindness and generosity in hosting us all.’
He raised his glass to their table. ‘I’d like to make the first toast to my new BFF, Brad the Magnificent, and to Lady Bauer.’
Brad waved his gold crutches at Arnold. ‘I love you, man!’
As everyone lifted their glasses, Charlie looked across the table at Rory. ‘I love you, man,’ he said.
‘Fuck off,’ Rory replied.
‘I next want to speak about my darling daughter,’ Arnold continued, looking over at her. ‘From the moment Zoe arrived, she brought joy into our lives.’
Emotion welled up inside her. She was so lucky to have the parents she did.
Sam passed her a packet of tissues.
‘Many of you won’t have met Zoe before today, so I’d like to share some of the highlights of her life,’ said Arnold. ‘Right from the get-go, she had a full head of curly red hair. Indeed, in the maternity suite, all the world and his wife kept popping by to see our little ginger snap. One of the nurses took a photo and sent it to the local paper. That week Zoe won the “bonny baby” competition, although unfortunately the photo was in black and white so everyone missed the technicolour experience.’
A tiny prickle of anxiety scratched at Zoe’s stomach, and she tried to catch her mother’s eye. Mary’s smile was fixed as she gazed at her husband, but Zoe could see subtle flickers of panic on her face.
‘And even in that first week of life, she had a wonderful laugh,’ Arnold continued. ‘I would tickle her tummy and she would chuckle away for hours.’
‘Is this speech going to be long?’ Rory murmured in her ear.
‘Probably,’ she whispered back. ‘Is your phone in your sporran? Can you message the wedding coordinator and get them to set the fire alarm off if he hasn’t stopped in the next ten minutes?’
‘But that would set the automatic sprinklers going all over the castle.’
Charlie shushed them from the other side of the table, and Valentina jabbed him with her elbow.
By now Arnold was recounting Zoe’s developmental milestones over her first six months, and people’s eyes were beginning to glaze over.
Fifteen minutes in, Arnold had only reached Zoe’s first day at Primary school.
Jez was creeping around the edge of the room towards their table. He went to Charlie’s side and had a whispered conversation. Rory frowned at them, but they ignored him. Charlie made a note on a piece of paper hidden under a napkin, and Jez scuttled away.
‘What’s going on?’ Zoe whispered to Valentina.
‘It’s a bet,’ she mouthed back. ‘He’s being a dickhead.’
