Page 50 of Wedding Games
Zoe squeezed his hand. ‘You really don’t have to do this, you know.’
‘Yes he does,’ Charlie interjected. ‘A lot is riding on it.’
‘What do you mean?’
Valentina rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak.
‘He’s—’
‘Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.’
A fearsome noise erupted from the speakers set up around the great hall, and Zoe instinctively ducked. It sounded like a helicopter was landing on their heads.
What the fuck?
Rory and Charlie leapt to their feet.
‘Duh-duh-duh-duh-nee-nah-nee-nah-duh-duh-duh-duh-nee-nah-nee-nah.’
The helicopter sound was now punctuated by sirens and gunfire.
Rory sat back with a thump. ‘Brad,’ he said to her, shaking his head.
She glanced over to his table, her heart still racing with adrenaline. Brad had a microphone pressed to his lips and was beatboxing, creating noises that were so realistic she still couldn’t believe she wasn’t in the middle of a war zone. Despite the brace around his ankle, he’d climbed onto his chair and had his free arm extended as if surfing a wave of sound.
She was now regretting their decision to make him Master of Ceremonies.
‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Brad rumbled, his voice vibrating low as the high-pitched sirens and semi-automatic weapons continued, interspersed with the whop-whop-whop from air force Brad. ‘The eagle is landing!’
The helicopter sound got louder until Brad made a series of noises that Zoe could only imagine were an aural representation of the helicopter crashing into a zoo during a brass band concert.
‘Touch down, baby!’
Beside her, Rory dropped his head.
‘We came!’ Brad cried, punching the air. ‘We saw!’ he yelled, striking an uppercut it really didn’t deserve. ‘Them get married! Let’s hear it for my son, Rory, and my new daughter, Zoe!’
Dear god.
Zoe turned away from Brad, hoping she’d accidentally started hallucinating. Fiona and Duncan’s shoulders were shaking as they hid their faces in their napkins, whereas Jamie looked as if he’d just walked in on his mum and Big Jim having sex. Rory’s eyes were closed, a muscle twitching in his jaw, and Charlie was smirking with unrepressed delight. Only Sam and Valentina, with their acting skills, were able to keep a straight face.
Waiting staff circulated with champagne as everyone clapped.
When the applause died down, Brad continued.
‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and today, Rory and Zoe have started their love marathon. We’re gonna be there for these beautiful kids every step of the way. If they stumble, our arms are there to catch them. If they thirst, they can drink from the fountain of our love. Are you with me?’
Charlie jumped to his feet. ‘Yeah! I’m in!’
Rory sighed.
‘Whoop!’ yelled Brad. ‘Is that a “yeah”, or a “hell yeah”?’
Rory and Charlie’s army buddies were seated at a table at the back of the room. They leapt onto their chairs as their wives and girlfriends sank lower on theirs.
‘It’s a—’ Charlie began.
‘Fuck yeah!’ all the men on the far table yelled.
