Page 17 of Wedding Games
Her friend looked to be at the end of her tether. ‘They decided to relive their glory days and nick apples from the orchard on the estate. When mum was looking in the shed for a pole long enough to knock them to the ground, she found a load of cider bottles hidden at the back. Fuck knows how long they’d been there for. This is the result.’
Zoe turned to her father. ‘Dad! Why didn’t you stop this?’
‘It’s not his fault, Zoe love,’ slurred her mother.
‘He was out with Jim,’ said Fiona, ‘trying to get him interested in a hike on the glen.’
‘It’s not really my cup of tea,’ said Jim, glancing apologetically at Arnold. ‘It’s lovely to look at, I just don’t want to be in it.’
‘What the fuck am I going to do?’ Zoe asked Fiona.
‘Zoe!’ yelled her mother. ‘Watch your bloody language!’
‘I’ve tried to sober them up, but it hasn’t worked,’ said Fiona. ‘Why don’t I take them both home, and you can say they’ve got food poisoning?’
Zoe nodded. ‘Yep, good idea. They can’t stay here in this state.’
‘Oi!’ said Morag. ‘We’re right here, you know.’
‘Morag, Mum. You’re leaving with Fi. Right now.’
‘But it’s your funny American dinner thing, darling, we can’t let you down.’
Zoe gritted her teeth. Her whole life, Mary had been the quietest and most well-behaved parent she knew. But it seemed her mother’s inner party animal had been caged for too long and was now out and on the rampage.
‘Mum, I’m sorry, but I can’t risk you saying anything to upset Barbara.’
‘What? Zoe, she’s the one in the wrong. I’ve been waiting thirty-five years for an apology from her. Do you know what she—’
‘Rory!’ bellowed Duncan. ‘Great to see you!’
Zoe swivelled around. Rory was striding up the corridor towards them, Brad and Barbara by his side.
Zoe stepped forward. ‘Unfortunately, Morag and my mother are feeling a little under the weather and won’t be joining us this evening.’
‘Nonsense!’ said Morag. ‘We’re fine.’
‘Doll, what’s wrong?’ asked Brad.
‘Ah, we just ate a couple of apples that were a little off, if you know what I mean,’ she replied, winking at him theatrically.
Zoe stared at Rory, seeing her panic reflected back at her.
Brad laughed and winked back at Morag. ‘But you’re both Scottish, so you can handle it, right, babe?’
‘Och, that we can,’ she replied. ‘Now, Brad, you mustn’t get jealous, but I’ve found myself a fancy-man.’
Zoe could hear Fiona groaning in mortification as Morag pulled Jim forwards. He appeared completely unfazed by meeting Brad.
‘Hello, I’m Big Jim. Pleased to meet you.’
Brad looked down at five-foot-six Jim and shook his hand. ‘BigJim?’
‘Aye.’ He wiggled his eyebrows. ‘I could be known as “ExtremelyBig Jim”, but I dinnae want to brag.’
Brad hooted with laughter and clapped him on the back. ‘Great to meet you, man!’
Jim grinned and turned to Barbara, giving her a short bow. ‘Lady Bauer. May I congratulate you on your marriage. Your husband is a very lucky man.’
