Page 49 of Musical Games
She released her hands and wrapped them around his back under his jacket, burrowing her face inside so everything was dark. She felt one strong arm around her waist, the other stroking the back of her head and then – did he justkissthe top of her head?
Every hormone inside her was battling to the death, her mind a confused wasteland of fear, dreams and desires. No, not possible. That was four glasses of champagne talking. She clung to him as if clinging onto life itself, her heart running so fast it kept tripping over itself.
‘Just breathe.’
Everything was discombobulated and dizzy. She could feel the hard muscle of his back beneath her palms, his flexed bicep against one cheek, the movement of his chest as he breathed against the other. She wanted to stay in his arms forever. It was like discovering heaven inside your worst nightmare. All she had to do was hold on and never let go.
* * *
The landscape driftedalong beneath them in quiet perfection. Jamie kept his eyes glued to the distant mountains, bathed in the warm glow of the early morning light. Everything outside was calm and still. Everything inside him was an anarchic riot of thoughts and emotions. He’d tried to do something special for Sam and completely and utterly fucked it up. She was in his arms, clearly terrified of heights.
She was in his arms.
He’d kissed her. At her most vulnerable moment, when she was so fucking petrified she’d actually reached to him for help, he’d taken advantage. Nausea and guilt washed through him. He was no better than Callum or Hamish. He just hadn’t thought. His body had acted before his brain had a chance to vet his actions. And now, holding her to him, his happiness was tainted by self-loathing. He hated himself for how good it felt to have her in his arms.
The basket floated on. Her breathing softened but she didn’t let go. Billy and Robert couldn’t see she was facing into him and not out. His body completely shielded hers. They were gliding through the air, suspended in time and space, far removed from any sense of normality.
Eventually Billy piloted the balloon towards an empty field where a car was waiting. Sam jerked as they landed and he held her even tighter.
‘We’ve landed,’ he whispered. ‘We’re back on the ground.’
She stayed still for a moment, then slowly and stiffly disengaged, staring down at her feet. He was desperate to keep hold of her but jammed his hands in his pockets before they went rogue.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly.
‘Jesus, don’t say that. I’m the one who’s sorry. Sam, I’m so fucking sorry.’
‘How was that then, ladies and gents?’
Sam looked up at Billy, a forced smile on her face. ‘That was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thank you both so much.’
A knife pierced his heart. She looked exhausted. She posed for pictures with Billy, then allowed him and Robert to help her out of the basket. On the journey back to collect Jamie’s car, she chatted away to the driver about everything she claimed to have seen as the knife in his heart twisted and turned. Only when she was back in his car and he was driving away did the performance drop. Her eyes closed and a rush of air escaped her lips. She looked so pale.
His throat was so tight he could hardly speak. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She shook her head. ‘You weren’t to know.’
‘I should have realised. I should have stopped it right at the start.’
‘And ruin their happiness? Yours?’
He gripped the steering wheel tighter. ‘Yes! Fuck’s sake. Yes! Nothing is worth what you went through.’
Her eyes were still closed but she smiled. ‘Well, now I’ve had my once-in-a-lifetime experience, I don’t have to do it ever again.’
‘I thought you were okay with heights.’
She raised her head from the headrest and looked at him. ‘Huh?’
‘That episode where you climbed out of the window to hide on the balcony after you were nearly caught in bed with…’ He couldn’t say his name.
She sighed. ‘I was so petrified I fainted twice. Ian deliberately spun the scene out to make me suffer.’
‘But, but, isn’t he your—’
‘Antagonist? Arch enemy? Nemesis?’
‘Boyfriend?’
