Page 36 of Musical Games
‘Are you alright?’ Her hands were all over him. ‘You’ve got some grass on your bum, let me get it off.’
Jesus!
She was red-faced and fussing, her fingers fluttering like a butterfly over his backside. ‘Are you okay?’
He stumbled to get away. ‘You told them your granny was dying?’
She hesitated. ‘Ye-es, but—’
‘Have you ever had a loss like that in your life? A loss that changes everything?’ She looked uncertain.Fuck! Rein it in, Jamie. He softened his tone. ‘Come on, let’s go home.’
11
Sam berated herself all the way back to Kinloch. She was so unstable around Jamie, like a pinball in a machine, constantly crashing into things and causing trouble. She just couldn’t work him out. She was used to actors, celebs, bankers and wide boys. City boys with swagger and cut-throat charm. They knew the game and how to play it. But Jamie was from another planet. He had the body of a god, the voice of an angel, and the shyness of a schoolboy. A shockwave of lust pulsed through her as she remembered him emerging from the pool, his eyes closed, his hands sweeping the wet hair off his forehead, the water dripping off the hard planes of his body. Holy fucking mother of god. He was like a supermodel on a porn shoot. She’d never had such a visceral reaction to anyone before.
Back in London, whenever she’d seen Zoe’s videos and photos of him, she’d felt a tug in her heart she tried to ignore. But now she was here with him, breathing the same air, and her heart kept threatening to stop and her ovaries explode. Zoe told her Morag had tried to set her up with him when she’d first arrived in Kinloch, so Sam knew he was single. But why didn’t he have a girlfriend? And if he was gay, then where the fuck was a boyfriend? If Jamie lived in London, most of the people she knew would fight each other to the death for the chance to eat him alive. She blew out her cheeks. If her life was different, ifshewas different, maybe it might have worked between them.Dream on, Smulan. As if he would ever be interested in her. She’d fucked up so badly with him, again and again. God only knew what he thought of her now.
She stared out the window, her throat full of emotion. It was just like every other time she said or did something impetuous. The more nervous she got, the more her mouth ran ahead of her brain. Then she’d get angry when people looked down their noses at her and behave even worse; a great big ‘fuck you’ to everyone for their low opinions. But the bravado couldn’t be sustained. Every day felt like a performance whether she was on set or not. And at night, alone in her flat, she was exhausted with the effort of being what other people wanted, expected, or dreaded. There were very few people who really knew and loved her. She knew her family did, but their love was tempered with a sense of bewilderment and frustration, and they were adept at pushing all her buttons.
Out of everyone, Zoe was the only person she could truly relax around. Her best friend loved her unconditionally. Sam pulled the net of the hat over her face so Jamie couldn’t see her tears. With Zoe gone from London it was like her anchor had been snapped. She was becoming more manic, fighting against the current to get to a better shore.Breathe in, two, three, four, and hold, two, three, four.She focused on the horizon through the screen of the net. One step at a time. Think of the music – and Brad. That was where her future lay. He was the chance of a lifetime and she couldn’t blow it.
By the timethey got back to Kinloch, she was on speaking terms with Jamie again, sticking to the safe topic of their music. She was glad to pull off Morag’s midge costume and when she heard Zoe was in the living room with Fiona and Liam, she ran through to give her best friend a hug.
‘We want to hear what you’ve been writing,’ Zoe said. ‘Your concert is next week.’
‘Don’t we just know it,’ she replied. ‘We’ve got three songs now, but it’s not enough.’
‘Can we hear them?’
Sam looked at Jamie. He shook his head.
‘For god’s sake,’ said Fiona. ‘You’ve got to do it in front of the whole pub, and Brad Bauer. You might as well practice in front of a friendly audience.’
‘Friendly? You?’ Jamie replied.
Fiona threw a cushion at him and he threw it straight back, narrowly missing Liam’s head. ‘Oi! Watch our Liam, you big lump!’
Morag grabbed Jamie, pushed him to sit on the sofa and plonked his guitar in his lap. Sam sat next to him.
He froze.
She leaned closer, her mouth right by his ear, and breathed in. He smelled so good. ‘Please, Jamie,’ she whispered. ‘We can do this.’
He swallowed. ‘Okay.’
Heart thumping, she pulled out her notes and flicked through them. Her mouth was watering. Being that close, feeling the heat from his skin, was almost painful. She wanted to climb onto his lap, wrap her arms around him and never let go.
She cleared her throat. ‘Okay, ladies and gentlebaby. Tonight, for the first time, live and exclusive, we have the first ever performance from the band “name still not decided, all ideas welcome” of their amazing new music. So hot off the press, we’re making it up as we go along.’
Morag, Fiona and Zoe whooped and cheered. Jamie shook his head and began plucking a few chords.
‘”Heart of Scotland” first?’ she asked. He gave a shrug and started the intro.
With the first few notes, a sense of peace settled through her. This music was theirs and it was right. The song was no longer about what had been, what might be, or what could never be. It was about the two of them in the ever-unfolding present. As she sang the first phrase, the rest of the world faded away. There were no other complications, no other circumstances, no other people. It was just the two of them. Jamie looked at her. Tingles fluttered in waves over her skin and joy filled her heart. She held his gaze as his voice joined hers. This was when she felt she truly knew him; the man underneath the shyness, grumpiness and embarrassment, and when he knew the truth of her. By the time the song had finished, she’d forgotten where they were.
She jumped as the silence cracked with cheers, whoops and whistles. She smiled at Jamie, seeing her own relief mirrored in his flushed face.
‘More!’ cried Morag. ‘We want more!’
