Page 15 of Musical Games
She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she carefully applied make-up. Her gaze drifted to the shower cubicle behind her and the bottle of Jamie’s shower gel. She blinked, brushing feathers of mascara on the skin under her eyes. ‘Fuck it!’ She dropped the wand and reached for a tissue to remove the mess. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this nervous.Breathe in, two, three, four, and hold, two, three, four. Breathe out, two, three, four, and hold, two, three, four.She steadied herself. If she didn’t make another mistake, she could have a reward.
Ten minutes later, feeling like a shame-filled addict, she pushed the small chrome bin against the bathroom door and reached for Jamie’s shower gel. She flipped the lid, put it to her nose, closed her eyes and breathed in.
Sam leftMorag’s late morning, wearing a confident smile and four-inch heels. She knew all too well whatever height a male actor claimed to be, knocking at least two inches off from the get-go was more accurate. Extrapolating from Brad’s stated height and Zoe’s up close and personal description, she’d chosen footwear that would elongate her legs without being off-putting to the man she was trying to impress. She’d got Zoe to leave copies ofSoap Firstmagazine in Brad’s trailer and around the castle so he’d already know who she was. The only issue was that in the photos she was playing Bethany, who dressed like a bargain-basement stripper at her first court appearance.
With each step up the hill her confidence waned to be replaced by self-doubt and blind panic. Whatwasshe hoping to achieve? As if within ten seconds in her company, Brad would fall in love, kick Kirsten Bjorkstrom to the kerb and give Sam the leading role inBraveheart 2? She slowed her pace. She thought back to singing with Jamie and her heart fluttered. On stage she’d sometimes been so lost in a role she’d forgotten where she was. But last night with Jamie, she’d not only forgotten where she was, she’d forgottenwhoshe was. There was only the music and him.
She’d fantasised about singing with him every time she’d watched the video Zoe had taken. But then, sitting so close to him, she couldn’t help herself. Something deep inside her soul had cried out to be free and she’d let it fly. Being there live, his voice and the sounds of the guitar vibrating through her had felt so right. She ran her mind back over the biggest events of her life, the best of times, trying to find a comparison.
Her feet stopped moving. She stood on the grey pavement, halfway to the castle, realising that singing with Jamie was the first time in her life she’d felt complete. The first time she’d been truly and authentically herself, without being who she, or others, thought she should be. A smile spread across her face.So this is what contentment feels like.
But singing with an electrician from the Highlands wasn’t a job. It wasn’t home. She could never make anything with Jamie work on any level. She closed her eyes and remembered his knee touching hers, the sound of their voices entwined. What was she doing? Could she turn around and walk back to Morag’s? Give up on her ludicrous dream of seducing Brad Bauer? Try and make something,anything,work with Jamie?
‘Hey, Bethany!’ The voice shocked her out of her dream. ‘Want a quickie?’ An overweight man was leaning out of a white van with a pasty in his hand, crumbs stuck to the bristles around his chapped lips. ‘Fancy a bit of Scottish sausage, eh?’
Rage rushed through her like wildfire. She broke into a run, her eyes on the castle ahead.Thiswas why she was doing this. She didn’t want her life and career defined by playing a tart in a soap. Anything to do with Jamie was a fantasy. It wasn’t real. Meeting Brad had more certainty than daydreaming about singing love songs with a man who didn’t want her in his house and spent most of his time avoiding her. Who the fuck was she kidding that he felt what she did? The moment they’d finished singing, he couldn’t wait to get away. A lump formed in her throat remembering his horrified expression. He’d seemed appalled by her. She gritted her teeth. It was just another rejection to add to her long list. He was no different from all the casting directors, producers, directors and exes who had told her she wasn’t what they were looking for. She pulled out her phone and rang the only person she knew she could count on.
Zoe answered after one ring. ‘Hey, babe, you nearly here?’
‘Yeah, I’m walking up to the main entrance now.’
‘Okay, I’m coming down. I think it’s Fraser on the door this morning. Just to warn you, he doesn’t seem to give a shit about Brad, Kirsten or Valentina, but when I told him I was expecting you, he nearly wet himself.’
‘Okay. Anything else I should know?’
‘Hmm, I personally think he could be bribed with jelly babies. He always keeps a packet inside his uniform and thinks no one has noticed. You don’t have any on you, do you?’
‘I’m afraid I had to make a hard choice between jelly babies and a family-size box of condoms when I was packing, and the jelly babies lost out.’
‘Family-size box of condoms? Isn’t that an oxymoron?’ Zoe snorted.
‘Well, family size sounds better than fun size, surely?’
‘How about bumper pack? Or value pack?’
Sam shuddered. ‘Can you imagine the quality? Might as well use cling film. See you in a sec, sweetheart. I think I’ve just spotted Fraser.’
Sitting outside the big front doors to the castle was a young man in a black polyester suit a size too small. He stood as Sam approached, his cheeks brighter than his hair, and tugged down the cuffs of his jacket.
Sam smiled and held out her hand. ‘Fraser?’
His mouth opened and his Adam’s apple yo-yoed up and down as if rehearsing the mechanics needed for speech before he gave up and nodded, thrusting his hand out to shake hers.
‘I’m Sam Adamson, although you might know me as Sam Adams?’ Fraser nodded again. Sam was used to this reaction. Thank goodness she’d never frozen like he currently was. ‘Would you like a selfie with me?’
His mouth dropped open and a strangled ‘aye’ wheezed out.
She gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Do you have a phone?’
Fraser wiggled to pull it out of his back pocket. ‘I cannae believe it’s you. Wait till I tell me mam.’ He held the phone out and hesitantly leaned in towards Sam as if afraid he was getting too close. Sam put her arm around him as they smiled together. After a few shots, he straightened up and checked them. ‘Thank you, Miss Adams-son.’
Sam adopted a serious look. ‘You need to make payment now.’
Fraser’s eyes widened and he frantically patted his pockets. ‘Do you take cards?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m afraid I only take payment in jelly babies. Are you carrying any?’
He giggled, then pulled a packet from his inside pocket and passed it to her. ‘How did you know?’
