Page 104 of Musical Games
‘Upstairs having a nap.’
‘Dunc’s working on the rigs now. Why haven’t you come home like you normally do? There’s no one in your room.’
‘Mum needed to know you could look after yourself.’
‘Mission accomplished. Now you’ve got to come back. She’s doing my head in.’
‘There’s a far better solution.’
‘What?’
‘What do you think? Finally move out, you big lump. If you can hear Mum snoring through the wall every night, how do you think you’re going to cope with hearing her giving Big Jim a b—’
‘Shut up! What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s not funny.’
Fiona held her stomach as she cackled. ‘You’re right. But whatisfunny is your reaction.’
Jamie pushed the chair back and paced up and down. ‘I don’t know what to do. My whole life has gone tits-up.’
‘Really now? Has it?’
He stopped and stared at her. He knew he wasn’t going to like what was coming next.
His sister raised her hands, counting off each point in turn.
‘One, you’ve finally shown Mum you can look after yourself and don’t need babying. Two, you’ve just made sixty fucking grand for playing your guitar for ten minutes. Three, you’ve had a taste of what life could be like away from a building site full of Neds. Four, you’ve written music that could take you all over the world. And five, you’ve fallen in love with someone totally amazing and who most likely loves you right back.’ Fiona sat back and crossed her arms. ‘Now, I’m going to sit here and wait for you to admit that I’m right about every single point.’
Silence.
Jamie sat, his hands locked together on the table. He took a breath in, feeling all the pain bubbling up.
‘She doesn’t love me back.’
Fiona leaned across the table and curled her small hand over his. ‘Has she said that?’
He shook his head.
‘Have you told her you love her?’
He shrugged. ‘Kind of.’
She sighed. ‘Jamie. You need to spell it out. You need to say those three words in that exact order, or she’ll never know.’
‘It’s too late. She left.’
‘Jamie, from her point of view it wasyouthat left.’
‘But she wanted to sign that contract. She wanted us to go to LA. It was too much. I panicked.’
Fiona squeezed his hand. ‘Think about it from her point of view. Her career is extremely unstable and she’d just lost her job. If you didn’t know when you’d ever next find work, wouldn’t you be grasping at any opportunity? And did you ever stop to think maybe she wanted the contract because it would have forced you to stay with her?’
‘What?’
‘You weren’t exactly buying her flowers and telling her you love her, were you? She would’ve had no idea how you really felt. Seriously, Jamie, Big Jim’s got way more skills than you in the love department.’
He hung his head. ‘What the fuck am I meant to do?’
Fiona ruffled his hair. ‘Think about what you’d want your life to look like if Mum and I didn’t exist. Who would you be with, where would you be and what would you be doing?’
