Page 103 of Musical Games
‘It’s just a private joke, son.’
He could see her cheeks reddening under her blusher.
‘Anyway, he’s coming round this afternoon and I want you to go out for a couple of hours.’
No, no, no, no, no fucking way.
‘Mum, I don’t know who this bloke is. I’m not leaving you alone with him.’
‘Son, don’t go cramping my style. You’ll meet him in a bit. He’s really nice.’
‘Mum—’
‘Just give him a chance. Promise?’
An hour later,there was a knock at the back door. Jamie drew himself up to his full height to answer it. He flung the door open, then adjusted his eyeline down. A short, slightly plump old man with grey hair, bright red cheeks and a beaming smile stood in front of him. One hand was holding a bunch of flowers, the other was extended towards him.
‘You must be Jamie. Nice to meet you, son. I’m Jim.’
Jamie didn’t know whether to be relieved or horrified. His mother was dating a male version of herself.
He led Jim through the kitchen, up the stairs and into his mother’s room. The only time he’d ever seen her look this excited was when Liam was born. She was grinning like a Cheshire Cat about to get all the cream. Jim thrust the flowers towards her, trying to get past the immoveable wall that was Jamie.
‘Oh, they’re so lovely.’ Morag sighed. ‘Thank you, BJ.’
BJ?
‘Jamie, can you take these downstairs and put them in some water before you go out? Fiona’s expecting you within the next ten minutes.’
Jamie opened his mouth but realised he didn’t have anything appropriate to say. So he shut it, stomped downstairs, put the flowers in a glass and went out the back door, slamming it behind him.
By the timehe reached Fiona’s, he was raging. His mood wasn’t helped by the fact his sister laughed as soon as she saw his expression.
‘Did you know about this?’ he demanded.
Fiona nodded. ‘I think it’s cute.’
‘Cute? He’s a fucking hobbit but she calls him Big Jim, or BJ for short.’
Fiona snorted with laughter. ‘Are you coming in, or what?’
Jamie stormed inside. ‘What am I meant to think about a name like that?’
‘I dunno. That he’s got a massive cock?’
‘Fi! Fuck’s sake! This is Mum we’re talking about!’
‘Oh, don’t be such a prude. Let her have a bit of fun.’
Jamie sat at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘Well, you can start with something to drink. Tea? Coffee?’
‘Whisky.’
Fiona poured him a tumbler and he downed it.
‘Where’s Liam?’
