Page 58 of Christmas Chaos
13
TABI
The boys are all discussing where to put the ropes and whatnot, and they’re driving me insane. I’m itchy and nervous. I’m covered in like 900-year-old dust. I haven’t told anyone, but my leg is bleeding a bit from a piece of wood scraping it when we fell. I’m not upset about the house yet, but I will be. Right now, I want them to stop telling Bax how to tie a secure knot and get me out of here.
Sam stands back and studies Bax’s work. “Ever think about taking up a career in rigging?”
Bax looks confused. My sweet Bax. Josh looks at him and says, “Don’t ask.”
“Wasn’t going to. There are things I’m happy not to know.” He turns to me. “And please God let that have not been on the fuck-it list.”
“It wasn’t. But I do know what it is.”
Josh walks around the edge of our house—no one can use the kitchen door because of the hated bathtub. I loved it until it ruined my perfect kitchen.
He’s closer to me, and David gives Sam a signal. The bed moves for a second, but David puts his hands up. We just want the ropes taut to hold the posts and frame in place. The moment the ropes steady, Josh whips me out of the bed. My ass to the wind. Whatever.
He tosses me to the corner and reaches for Bax. Bax shakes him off.
“If I move, I’m afraid the bed will fall.”
“I got you.” Our phones go off again. We all ignore them, of course. Mine is shattered but seems to be working. Bax takes Josh’s arm and the two wrap their hands around each other’s forearms. He hoists him out and off the bed just as one of the posts snaps and the bed begins slipping. Josh flings Bax at me, then the three of us watch as David signals Sam to stop. We shuffle around the edges of the house and phones are still pinging and going off. We make it outside and Sam runs in from his truck. We’re watching through the door when the bed sinks about another three feet and you can only see the top of one of the posts.
“Men,” I say, and they all crowd around me. I let myself be the girl and cry with relief. I’m not sure what could have gone on. But surrounded by the four men who mean the most to me is the way this should have ended. We stay like that for a moment. Baxter at my front and the rest of them in an embrace.
Our moment is broken by a loud, bossy voice in what appears to be a full wedding gown fitted around her large stomach. Stunning but still odd for one-thirty in the morning at the winery.
“WHY AREN’T YOU PEOPLE PICKING UP YOUR PHONES? And why does it look like Tabi’s having a reverse harem? Where are your pants? And Bax, tuck it back. I can see the Senator.” He scoots behind me quickly.
Josh breaks rank and walks towards his woman. They have three children, a girl and twin girls. Elle refuses to get married while she’s pregnant and they keep getting accidentally pregnant. Fuck them.
“Assholes. I took a break from keeping my elephant ankles up in the air so listen up.” She’s the worst pregnant person ever, apparently even the beauty of the ballet didn’t lighten her mood.
Sam grabs a pair of shorts from his truck and tosses them to Bax.
Josh pulls her to him, and she melts in his arms, she always does. He kisses her with his leftover adrenaline from hauling us out of our house. As he kisses her, the walls start to creak, and we run to Sam’s truck.
Elle looks up. “What’s happening?” We explain and she tsks. She’s also always hated this house. She reaches into her car, pulls out leggings and tosses them to me. Thank God the woman is always prepared for all situations.
Sam asks her, “Why are you dressed as an angel?” It’s seriously a beaded and sparkly dress that looks as if she can’t quite zip up the back.
I yell, “Explain your angelic appearance.”
Josh nods at her. “Over the years she’s purchased multiple designer wedding dresses and one couture gown, and my Hellcat has proclaimed they’re all useless. So, we had them altered so she could wear them. It’s usually around the house. The girls think she’s playing princess.”
Bax lets out a sigh and says, “But you’re not getting married?”
Josh stares at Elle.
She throws her hands up and says, “Oh, hell no. Not while I’m a fucking milk making, gestating, life giving whale of a machine, and at this rate, my children will be in college before their parents get married.”
Bax says, “Can we get on with this before the Seraphim sing again?”
“Fuck you. And fuck you.” She hits Josh. He shrugs and she waves her arms around and does a little floaty dance, her icy blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders. “Look, consider me the Archangel Gabriel. There’s a child. In the West of Oakland.” She stretches her hands out and points. I just want to be anywhere else and Bax senses it. He laces our fingers together.
Josh looks confused. But David says, “We get it. You’re having a baby.” He smiles. Turns out he’s kind of a baby guy and none of us saw that coming.
“Yes, but I’m not talking about this hellspawn who is currently kicking my kidneys and almost making me pee a little bit in my $18,000 Elie Saab.”
