Page 5 of Christmas Chaos

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‘Zoe?’

‘We shouldn’t be ageist. We need an equal opportunity Santa.’

He closed his eyes and saw exactly what she had in mind.

‘So, you’re going to advertise a day when all the world and his wife can come and sit on my knee and tell me what they want me to put in their stocking.’

His eyes opened at his wife’s howls of laughter.

‘Oh my god, Rory, that’s genius! “Tell the Earl of Kinloch how you’d like your stocking stuffed”. This is amazing! We should do a week of it!’

‘One day. And only humans in single digits.’

‘What about the oldies? Under ten and over seventy?’

‘Are you joking? The pensioners are the bloody worst! Since I carried Mrs McCreedie out of her house last year after the lorry crashed into it, she’s been more than a little handsy.’

His wife was now crying with laughter. ‘Okay, nine and under, I promise.’

‘And do I really need to grow a beard for one day?’

‘You need to fully embrace the spirit of Christmas,’ she said, wiping her eyes. ‘And besides, maybe if we’re lucky you can play Joseph to my Mary?’

He drew her into his arms. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘I always wanted to play Mary in the nativity at school,’ she murmured into his chest. ‘But I was always a sheep. Or a giraffe.’

‘A giraffe?’

‘Because I was tall. At least I never had to play the octopus.’

‘Huh?

‘Vital part of every modern-day nativity. You’ve gotta move with the times.’

‘Humph.’

They stood in silence.

‘What if it doesn’t happen?’ she asked, quietly. ‘What if we can’t have a baby?’

He held her a little tighter. ‘It will. We just need to give it a bit more time.’

She looked at him. ‘Do you think we should book in for some tests?’

Her expression broke his heart. He forced a smile.

‘Whatever you want. I’m here for you.’