Page 43 of Highland Games
Two days later,whilst sitting in her favourite plastic chair in the library, she received a text from Rory.
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: You can get into the castle tomorrow to take photos if that works for you. Let me know if you need anything. Rory.
A thrill of excitement ran through her. Her fantasies, well, some of them, were about to be fulfilled. She replied.
Zoe: Awesome! What time? Do you have a kilt?
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: Why?
Zoe: Oh, and a sword. Cheers.
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: What?
Zoe: Long, pointy thing, made of metal.
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: I know what a sword is. Why do you need one?
Zoe: I’ve got a few ideas for the photos you can help me with. I just need you and a few props. Can you get them? What time tomorrow? Cheers.
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: Where are you?
Zoe sighed. This had been a gamble and it wasn’t about to pay off.
Zoe: At the cabin. What time tomorrow?
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: Great phone signal you’ve suddenly got. Where are you?
Should she reply?
Man-bear, yeti, mutant-redneck-hobbit, hobo: Zoe?
She tossed the phone on the desk and dropped her chin. She wasn’t going to see him until he’d had a chance to calm down. She had work to do.
Five minuteslater Rory stalked into the library. Thank god it was empty. He walked through to the back, where hidden behind a wall of bookshelves was a row of tables and computers. There she sat, bent over a magazine, her corkscrew curls tied up but grazing her exquisite neck. God she was beautiful. She was concentrating so hard on what she was reading, she didn’t hear him. He looked at what she was engrossed in and his heart sank. Brad bloody Bauer.
Rory believed a special circle of hell should be created for wife beaters, child abusers, and Brad Bauer. He was Lucy’s celebrity crush, and she’d made Rory agree she was allowed to snog him if they ever met. In return, she magnanimously offered him a free pass to kiss the celebrity of his choice. Rory told her the only person he wanted to kiss was her and she got annoyed with him, telling him he just didn’t get it. She said that to him a lot.
So, he was forced to endure viewings of Brad’s films, whilst calculating what else he could have done in the hours he was wasting. One of the last films he had watched with her,Death Party, had been set during the Afghanistan conflict and bore as much resemblance to reality asAlice in Wonderland. Lucy, keen to find a commonality between her fiancé and her fantasy boyfriend, told Rory about the Special Forces training Brad had received and how many stunts he’d done himself. Rory thought the only stunt Brad had pulled was getting anyone to believe he could hold his own in a fight that involved anything more than pillows.
Rory stared at the image of Brad having sex with a kilt, and his blood went from boiling to thermonuclear. This was a man? An overly manicured pretty boy who spent his time in front of a camera, a mirror or in the pants of reality TV stars.
‘Please tell me you aren’t expecting me to recreate this?’ he hissed.
Zoe leapt around, her hand clutching her chest. ‘Jesus fucking Christ!’ she whispered. ‘How long have you been standing there?’
‘Long enough. Is this what you find attractive?’ he asked with thinly veiled contempt, indicating the magazine. Zoe became very interested in the carpet, scuffing at it with the toe of her boots. ‘Zoe?’
‘He was my first ever crush,’ she mumbled. ‘He’s super hot. I mean, he’s been voted the world’s sexiest man more than anyone else. But I’m only using it as inspiration. I don’t expect you to get naked or anything.’
Rory tried to hold it together. Now he knew for certain he didn’t have a chance with her. Her ideal man was a dark haired, perfectly formed fop like Brad Bauer, not an oversized scruff-bag like himself. He stared at her, still apparently obsessed with the library floor.
‘So, let me get this straight. You want me to put on a kilt and ponce about the castle, while you take photos then put them on the Internet?’
Zoe glanced up and blushed.
Rory shook his head. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t thought to ask me to take my top off and brandish a sword whilst yelling “freedom!”’
Zoe flushed even redder and looked away.
