Page 102 of Cakes for the Grump
I don’t know.
It’s an ache I refuse to put into specific words, but I can at leastadmit, my mornings are not the same without him. God, they feel so barren all of a sudden. I sit there after brewing my own tea and wonder whether it’ll go back to normal after this conference business is over, but also thinking this way is a recipe for more dangerous pondering. Like, whatdoeshappen after? Isn’t that the fake fiancée deadline? Do I go back to being his smoothie maker after?
For now, I’ve stopped all my normal cooking duties
It makes me wonder what I’m doing in this city, living with my boss…for how long?
Until the CUM competition is over and I win? (Fingers crossed, nightly prayers, begging into the universe void). It’s the only answer that makes sense to me. If I actually win that, I have choices. No forced jobs where I’ll take whatever is available. There’s a real career waiting for me.
Perhaps if I can just accomplish that, I won’t be so distracted. So invested. Worried about him. Waiting. Hungering. Addicted to our messages. Foolishly grinning throughout the day, rereading past correspondences, as if in the thirtieth time, I’ll discover something new.
Even today, we go back and forth, and I’m sickly happy about it.
LUKE
On a scale of 1-10, how miserable are you?
ME
I can only speak for Lady Francine. She was a 10 when I asked her what to do when your dinner guest has a visible booger on their nose. Apparently nothing because rich people don’t have this issue.
LUKE
After sufficient net worth has been achieved, we get nose butlers who take care of everything.
ME
Hm, I’m certain you shouldn’t be spilling these secrets.
LUKE
You’re spending ten hours listening to a woman go on about posture. It’s the least I can do. Which still isn’t enough.
ME
Since you refuse to charge me for room and board, I think it is me who is getting the better deal. Unless you’ll finally take some money for all these days I’ve been at yours?
LUKE
That won’t be happening.
ME
Alright, I’ll continue living on as a burden.
LUKE
See to it that you do. But also I’m the one who owes you for what you’ve been doing. Not the other way around.
ME
I’ve stopped making smoothies, yet you continue to pay me, and not at our earlier agreed-upon rate, but something that seems to have more than quadrupled. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?
LUKE
Consider it the fiancée upgrade. Expect more.
I’m walking back to his penthouse with a fresh wave of shock. This influx of money is building a larger and larger safety net for me. I’ve got enough for future rehab payments, no longer living from one payment cycle to the next.
