Page 86 of Sire
“No.” He chuckles. “There was no money exchanged. But I insisted on consent, medical screenings, NDAs, rules, and such. So, there was some prep involved.”
“When was the last time?—”
“Last year,” he rushes like he wants to get this over with. “I haven’t been with anyone since.”
“Why?”
“Because I realized I was trying to fuck my pain away, and it wasn’t working.”
I touch his cheek, suddenly worried. “Your pain?”
“Yeah.” He swallows. “The rage I have for my dad. The worry I feel for my mom. The guilt I have for betraying Axel. The way I really want kids so much it hurts, but I don’t deserve them. The way I’ve had this dark hole in my heart my whole life … until I metyou.”
He cups my face. “I meant it today, Wren. I’ve been praying for you this year. Twice a day, I’d ask God to send me the love I never felt before, even if I didn’t deserve it.”
“You deserve love, Sire Rutledge.” I seek his lips, wanting to make his pain go away. “And I promise I’ll give it to you every day. I’ll love every part of you, because they’re not over when we get married.”
“Wren,” he vows, “I’ll never fuck another woman again. I can’t. I’m too in love with you.”
“What about men? I can’t fill that need for you.”
And I can’t find an insecure bone in my body about it.
Maybe I’m too sure we’re meant to be together. Maybe I love him too much. Maybe I want to take all his pain away, like he killed mine, and I want him to be happy. I want Sire to be free of his guilt and shame.
He pauses, considering my offer. I can’t tell if he’s tempted or touched. Or maybe both.
“Just because I’m bisexual,” he explains, “it doesn’t mean I can’t be withoneperson. In fact, it’s all I want. I want to love and marryyou.Onlyyou. I told you, I’m a hypocritical patriarch that way.” Softly, he smirks, caressing my waist. “I want to keep you as my badass, hot wife, all pregnant and barefoot with my babies.”
I love his hypocrisy.
His honesty.
I lovehim.
I love him this much…
“But the other night in the tent with Nash and Jace, I sensed it; you liked the domination over me, and I liked it, too. You liked showing me off,” I blush, “and I liked you sort of sharing me.”
Pensively, he brushes his fingertips down my neck to my cleavage, letting me feel the jagged scar on his partial pinky; his proud sacrifice for me. Forever, I’m secure with him. Goosebumps bloom in the wake of his touch, desire tightening my nipples.
I stare at his menacing beauty and truly see Sire; he is a powerful contradiction.
But so am I.
Maybe we all are.
I know what I want, and how I want it with him. How we can talk about it, and we won’t judge. We’ll always love.
If this is marriage, this safety and seduction I feel with him, then ours will last beyond a lifetime. It’ll be bigger than our hearts can contain, maybe our bodies, too.
His eyes lock on mine, letting me see God and the Devil reflected in their blue depths.
“As my wife…” gently, he fists my hair, “you’remine, Wren.Onlymine. You belong to me, and I’ll behead anyone who tries to put our love asunder.”
I believe him.
Evil heads roll around Sire.
