Page 47 of When We Breathe
“I love you, too.”
“I love you, too,” Birdie says, and I glance back to smile at her.
“I love you so much, sweet girl. I’ll see you both later, okay?”
Climbing out of the car, I walk around to fetch my bags and then put them in my own vehicle and make the quick drive to the apartment. It’s crazy that I was here less than twenty-four hours ago. So much has happened since then.
It’s already hot in here again even though summer is on its way out, so I take a few minutes to open windowsto circulate the air and turn on a fan, then make my way to the tiny bedroom and crash onto the bed.
Finally, curled up around the pillow that doesn’t smell like either of my guys, feeling alone and confused, I let the tears come.
Chapter Eighteen
GABE
Alex just left, her sister driving away with her, and I round on Adam, pissed the fuck off.
“What did you do?”
He shakes his head and pulls his hands down his face as he paces to the windows and back.
“I’m protecting us both. If she doesn’t know what she wants, we need to know that now. If shedoesknow what she wants, and that isn’t us, we also need to know that now.”
“That was such a clusterfuck. I can’t even wrap my head around it. What did I miss today? What did you say to her to send her packing?”
He glares at me for about three seconds, then blows out a breath. “Today was fucking great. We had fun. We laughed, we fucked, we slept.”
“And then I come home, and she runs for the hills? Jesus Christ.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Adam, I love you, but this is fucked up.We need her.”
“I know.” He sits on the couch, lowers his head intohis hands, and fists those hands in his hair. I’ve never heard his voice quiver before, unless it was during sex. I’ve definitely never seen him on the verge of tears. “I need Alex to love us back, baby. Without hesitation. Without a thought. Because for you and me, there’s no going back, but anytime either one of us even says the word love, in any context, her reaction isn’t great. And you saw how she flinched when she saw us holding hands.”
I scowl at the floor because Ididsee that. And I fucking hated it.
“She’s never had an issue with you and I together before. I don’t think it was jealousy.”
“Of course, it isn’t. It’s that she’s afraid that while you and I are a united front, she’s still a third wheel.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Adam looks up at me with eyes full of anguish. “You and I know that. And we cantellher that all we want, but she has deep-seated trauma from that asshole that she lived with, and she has to believe it on her own. As much as I want to, I can’t force her toreallyhear me.”
“Fuck.”
“And I can’t have you pissed at me, too. Jesus, G, it was a great fucking day. And now she’s fuckinggone,and I hate how you’re looking at me.I’m trying to keep us all safe, and I’m failing spectacularly.”
“Come here.” I pull him to his feet and cup the back of his neck, pulling him against me. He clings to me, buries his face in my neck, and it softens my heart. He’s hurting as bad as I am.
As bad as Alex is.
“I’m right here, baby. I love you so much that I’m stupid with it. But I love her, too.”
“I know.”
“We’re going to figure this out. Maybe a couple of days apart will be good for her. Like she said, she needs to think, and we’ll just keep reminding her how important she is. Just because she isn’t here doesn’t mean we let her forget us. We won’t make it easy for her to walk away for good.”
Adam lifts his head, and for the first time since Alex walked out the door, he has hope in his beautiful gray eyes.
“You’re right.” He pulls me in for a kiss, then he stalks away from me, headed for his office.
