Page 99 of Ashes of the Past
“You okay?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Yeah.”
“You know that—” I start.
“Popo’s sick. I know that.”
I lean against the fence. “Yeah.”
She keeps her eyes on the dog. “I’ve noticed it for a while. Mom doesn’t like to talk about it; it makes her sad. Some days are worse than others. Today was bad. I know he doesn’t like my dad and…I know why. I don’t understand why he thought you were him, though. You look nothing alike.”
I nod, waiting. A small smile plays on my lips at her last comment. I won’t say anything else, though; I get the feeling she needs to get this out on her own time.
She takes a deep breath. “Mom acts like she’s okay, but I know she worries all the time. She barely sleeps as it is, butit’s worse when Popo has a rough day. I hear her crying in the shower or in her bedroom sometime. She doesn’t know that. I know she doesn’t want me to see her like that, but…I’m sad, too.”
My heart breaks. Here’s this little girl watching her mother shoulder all the pain and sadness for herself and others, and she wants to be there for her mom. I want to pull Olivia into a hug and make it better for both of them.
I look at her, seeing so much more than a twelve-year-old girl. She’s sharp, observant. Strong, like her mother.
“She’s lucky to have you,” I say.
Olivia snorts. “I don’t know what I can really do.”
“More than you think,” I tell her. “Just being here helps. You and your mom are a team. Maybe you should be with her when she’s like that.”
“Maybe.” She kicks at a rock. “I just hate seeing him like that. He’s not the same.”
I exhale, looking out over the fields. “I know.”
She finally turns to me. “You think he’s ever gonna get better?”
I meet her eyes, wishing I had a better answer. “I don’t know, kid. But what I do know is that he’s got people who love him. And that counts for something.”
She watches me for a second, then nods. “Yeah.”
We stand there for a while, the only sound Barney’s panting as he drops the stick at her feet. She bends down, ruffling his ears. “Thanks for talking to me.”
“Anytime.”
We head back toward the house, the warmth of the kitchen lights spilling onto the porch. Inside, Brynn is wiping down the counters, her face soft with exhaustion.
I watch her for a moment, taking in the way she holds everything together. Strong. Resilient.
I don’t know how she does it, but damn if I don’t admire her for it.
Chapter Forty-One
Brynn
It’s Wednesday night, another dinner and another day almost done. The kitchen is nearly spotless. The routine of it all, the scrubbing of stubborn spots on the dishes, is usually enough to take the frustration, the fear, or whatever else the day throws at me away, but not today.
Dad’s getting worse every day, and I don’t know how to handle it. It’s heart-wrenching to watch someone who was so strong and independent become confused and…weak. My heart can’t take this.
I wipe down the last bit of the counter, glancing out the window to see Olivia outside with Barney. Dad is upstairs asleep, and all the ranch hands are over at the bunkhouse. It’s just me in the kitchen now.
I fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. I’m so overwhelmed with everything, trying to figure out what the next steps will be with Dad, with the ranch if we don’t get rain, with…everything.
“Brynn, you’ve been at this all day. Let me help,” Jack says softly as he walks into the kitchen.
