Page 50 of Ashes of the Past
“Because it is,” she says firmly. “You’re only seeing the negatives, Brynn. Not all cowboys are like Clay. Look at your dad. He was a cowboy, and he treated your mom like a queen.”
I nod slowly, memories of my parents flooding back. Dad was everything Clay wasn’t—gentle, faithful, loving. He and Mom had the kind of marriage people dream about.
“He did,” I sigh. “She kept him in line.”
“And what about the Callahans?” Rachel continues. “Father and son both. Solid, loyal, family men. Everyone thought that Wade was a player who would never settle down and that man has Sutton on a pedestal. They’re amazing together.”
“Do you really think Jack Renfrew doesn’t have it in him to be the same?”
“He’s divorced with no kids.”
“And Joanne told you that he raised their nephew, that he and his wife couldn’t have kids, and then she cheated on him. You’re just looking for excuses.”
I take a deep breath, letting her words sink in. She’s right. I’ve been so focused on the bad that I’ve ignored the good. Jack’s not Clay, and it’s unfair to paint him with the same brush.
“You’re right,” I say finally. “I’ve been looking at this all wrong.”
Rachel smiles. “Clay may have been an asshole that abandoned your daughter, but she has a plethora of men surrounding her that haven’t abandoned her. Your dad, Nick, Paulo, and all of the ranch hands treat that little girl like theirown child, and I have no doubts that Jack will soon be the same way. You’re so scared of getting hurt that you’re not seeing the bigger picture.”
I let out a long groan and lean back in my chair. I take a long pull from my wine glass, emptying it, before I sit up and look at her.
“You’re right. I’m terrified. I’m scared that Jack and I are going to pursue whatever this is, and he’s going to bail like he did the last time.”
“You two weren’t anything back then. You’d met for like an hour. You’re just looking for excuses.”
She’s right. I am.But…shouldn’t I be trying to protect myself from the inevitable?
“I hate saying that you’re right,” I giggle.
She grins back at me widely. “Jack may be here full time and around Olivia. If the two of you decide to pursue whatever it is between you, then you don’t have to expose Olivia to that. Your child doesn’t have to meet every man that your vagina does.”
I throw my head back and laugh. I shake my head and roll my eyes. “You’re ridiculous. And you’re right. Thanks for this, I really needed it.”
“I’m always here for this. My love life may be a disaster, but it doesn’t mean I don’t give fantastic advice.”
“What is it? Do as I say, not as I do?” I say teasingly.
“Exactly,” she says, raising her glass again. “Now, let’s finish this wine and figure out what you’re going to do about Jack Renfrew.”
We laugh, clink glasses, and dive back into the conversation. But this time, my heart feels a little lighter.
Maybe none of this is even about Jack but about allowing myself to hope and open up to the possibility of finding a good man. Cowboy or not.
Chapter Twenty
Jack
The hum of the tires on the asphalt fills the cab of my truck as I drive back to the ranch after helping Mom with some repairs to her house. There is a gorgeous full moon tonight, lighting up the normally dark countryside in an eerie way. It’s peaceful as I roll my windows down and inhale the fresh country air.
My phone buzzes on the passenger seat, the screen lighting up with Savannah’s name. Again. For the third time today. My stomach twists, but I don’t even reach for the phone. Whatever she thinks she needs to say, it doesn’t matter anymore. It hasn’t mattered for a long time.
Our divorce has been final. Our conversations are only through our lawyers now. That’s the way it has to be.
I have nothing left to say to a woman who cheated on me with my best friend. She didn’t even have the balls to tell me it was over. She had an entire relationship with him while spending my money.
The buzzing stops, and a moment later, it starts again—this time, a FaceTime request. A low growl escapes my throat as I grab the phone and decline the call. Then, before I can second-guess myself, I block her number. Should’ve done it the second that I caught her sleeping with him.
The weight in my chest eases just a little as I toss the phone back onto the seat. Savannah doesn’t get to take up space in my life anymore. Not when I’ve finally started to feel like I can breathe again.
