Page 110 of Ashes of the Past
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I hope so.”
She smiles softly. “You will. I promise.”
My appetite has been off for days, a mix of exhaustion and stress dulling my senses. I stir my coffee aimlessly, watching the dark liquid swirl, my mind wandering before Rachel’s voice brings me back.
“Have you talked to Jack yet?”
I tense immediately, my grip tightening around the mug. I shake my head, keeping my eyes down. “No.”
She leans forward, her brows furrowing. “Brynn.” Her voice holds that big-sister tone, the one that says she’s about to call me on my bullshit.
I exhale, my stomach twisting. “I think it’s for the best if we just… end it. It’s over.”
She pulls back like I just grew a second head. Her eyes widen, and she blinks at me in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
I swallow hard, my throat dry as I push forward with the words that have been circling my brain all week. “My life is too crazy, Rach. There’s too much going on, and I have too much on my plate to be in a relationship with anyone right now. This whole mess just proved it. Olivia could have gotten hurt. And what if Clay comes back? A restraining order is just a piece of paper. I can’t let my guard down, not now, not ever.”
She stares at me for a long beat before setting her coffee down with a quiet thunk. “Brynn,” she says, her voice softer now, but firm. “You love him.”
I close my eyes briefly, my heart clenching. “I know,” I whisper. “And that’s what makes this so damn hard.”
She reaches across the table, taking my hand in hers. “So, you’re going to punish yourself because life threw you some hard shit?” She shakes her head, squeezing my fingers. “No. That’s not how this works. You don’t shut people out because you’re scared. You let them in. That’s what love is. That’s what Jack wants—to be in this with you.”
Tears burn behind my eyes, but I blink them away. “Rachel, I just—I don’t know if I can do this. What if all this chaos has him realizing he’s better off without me? Without all of this?” I gesture vaguely, my chest tightening with fear. “What if I’m just too much?”
She sighs, sitting back against the booth. “You’re doing that thing again.”
I frown. “What thing?”
“That thing where you decide for everyone else how they feel. Where you assume that because you feel unworthy, that’s how everyone sees you.” She tilts her head, watching me closely. “Do you really think Jack is the kind of man who would run because things got hard?”
I open my mouth, then shut it. No, I don’t think that. But that doesn’t mean my fears aren’t real.
“Look, I get it. You’re scared. You’ve had to fight for so long; protect Olivia, keep yourself safe. And yeah, the past week has been absolute hell. But, Brynn, love isn’t about things being easy. It’s about choosing each other through everything.”
My throat tightens, emotions choking me. “And what if I lose him?”
She gives me a small, sad smile. “Sweetheart, you’re losing him right now. But not because he wants to go—because you’re pushing him away.”
Her words hit me hard, and I press my fingers against my forehead, trying to keep the tears at bay. My chest aches with the truth of it.
Why does she always have to be right?
Rachel reaches over again, giving my hand another squeeze. “Don’t let fear make your choices for you, Brynn. Take the leap. Trust that love—real love—is worth the risk.”
I lean back in the booth and give her a small smile, my fingers tracing the rim of my coffee cup. “Thank you,” I say softly. “Foreverything. For talking me off the ledge, for being here even when I try to push everyone away. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you.”
Rachel smiles, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. “That’s what best friends do. We’re in this together, B. You don’t have to go through anything alone.”
I nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “I know.”
We sit in silence for a moment before she glances at the clock. “I should get going. Abby has a dance recital tonight, and if I don’t show up early enough to snag a front-row seat, my mom might disown me.” She says, referring to her niece.
I laugh softly, standing as she does. “Go, go. Give her a hug from me.”
Rachel grins. “Will do. And Brynn?”
I pause, looking at her.
