Page 21 of The Twelve Knots of Christmas
She turned to walk away, and I grabbed her arm, pulling her so that her body was inches away from mine. The urge to wrap her in my arms and make the world safe and happy for her was burning through my veins. “I want to know you, Mariska. More than anything.”
My head dipped down. Both our breaths came quicker. Her gaze flickered to my mouth as her lips parted. Fuck me, I wanted to taste her.
Soothe her first. Make sure she’s feeling all right.“As for your family, I don’t have to know them. So they don’t understand what it’s like to be an Omega, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. They’re your family. All families should be together for the holidays.”
There was a ferocious flare in her amber eyes. “All families? Even the ones where the dad comes home drunk every night and hits his wife, or if they hurt the kids and lock them in their rooms?” The harsh words came out barely more than a whisper, but sharper than a sword. “No presents for Christmas. They don’t even get to eat. Shouldthosefamilies be together?”
The world went red at the thought of someone harming her. Every muscle in my body tightened. My jaw hurt with how hard I clenched my teeth.
“No.” I growled, my hands squeezing into fists. “Did they hurt you? I will fucking kill them—”
“No.” Mariska snapped. “My family is nothing like that. I’m just showing you that not all families should be together. Some are better apart.”
Protect my Omega. Kill all threats.My Alpha brain couldn’t come down from that mode. “But you said—”
“I said they weren’t like that. They’ve never laid a finger on me. Not even to give me a hug.” Mariska flinched at her own words, and tears shimmered in the corners of her eyes. Mine widened as I felt the emotional slap as well. “All my family is guilty of is apathy. That’s a level of hell in itself.”
What the fuck?
She took off faster than I could react. I pushed through the shoppers, attempting to catch her. “Mariska!”
Dashing out of a side entrance, I lost sight of her for a few seconds, and then I caught her black silhouette running through the brightly clothed crowd into the resort itself. I plowed through the throng and got inside in time to see Mariska disappear into a women’s bathroom down the hall.
I slowed and came to lean on the wall across the corridor where I had a full view of the restroom door. My pulse beat hard, thumping in my ears. I still wanted to thrash something. She was hurting, and I’d driven her to that point. I pushed when I should have let it go.
Fuck. It had been a perfect day.
And I wasn’t sure how to fix the new bond between us I’d shattered.
CHAPTER NINE - Mariska
I’d been preparing for the most difficult talk of my life today with Balthazar and his pack about helping me through my heat. Since I didn’t sleep much, I hunted for advice on the internet and scribbled down possible things I might say. I practiced in front of the mirror, looking like a flustered idiot at first, but gaining confidence in what I needed to do. I thoroughly analyzed the situation a dozen times over with Miss Eloise and Lyla all morning.
I was ready. I was brave.
But one mention of my family had me emotionally crashing. It was a great bigflee from the market in tearsepisode. Totally not me.
An Omega in heat was highly emotional, but as I’d always had a tight rein on my feelings, I didn’t think it applied to me. Boy, was I wrong. One second I’d been ready to let Balthazar take me on a vendor’s table, and then I’d wanted to crawl into a dark hole with my misery. My heart and body ached from the whiplash of emotions.
I wasn’t sure how long I stayed in the bathroom even when I finished sobbing. I stayed long enough to convince myself that I’d been ridiculous to react that way when it came to my parents and sister. They weren’t mean. They just… were.
My family was the Primrose Pack. Miss Eloise, Emberlee, and Lyla loved me as much as I loved them, and none of us were afraid to show it. I would miss them greatly when I went to California, but they gave me strength to follow my dreams and cheered me every step of the way.
After a session of rhythmic, calming breathing, I pried myself out of the stall and stared at myself in front of the restroom mirror. Ugh. It looked like I had just been to a funeral.
What would the Alphas think if they saw me like this? Balthazar likely ran off, wanting nothing to do with my drama. It would make it more difficult to ask for the pack’s help with my heat, but I wasn’t offering them my baggage. I just wanted their knots.
Oh God. My cheeks flushed. I couldn’t believe I was going to ask them to help me in that way.
An ache throbbed between my legs, and my coat suddenly became too hot.
Nope. Not going to think about that or them.Focus on cleaning up, Mariska.
I didn’t wear much makeup, but I took out a small kit from one of my pockets that Lyla had made for me last year with blush and eye shadow that were picked just for my coloring. Cleaning my smeared eye liner and mascara, I put on a new layer. A battle mask for when I had to face the pack later.
Women had come and gone since I’d been in the restroom, but no one had paid me any attention. I was putting on the last touch with some lip gloss when Miss Eloise entered carrying full tote bags of various gifts. A lance of guilt went through me as I remembered I didn’t buy anything for my parents or sister yet.
“There you are, dear. Lucian and Jasper are here, and we’re all ready to go for dinner. Do you need any more time to prepare?”
