Page 61 of Dear #47, You're the Worst
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” she says quietly. “That’s… that’s awful, Hunter. No wonder you’re so hard on yourself.”
“I think I chose my profession pretty well. I’m not missing out on anything.” Putting my hands behind my head, I shrug. “I don’t know if you know this, but the Havoc pays very well.”
Her lips twitch. “So I’ve heard.”
She yawns, sinking back onto the bed. I let the silence fall between us, stretching. She closes her eyes, shifts, getting comfortable.
“All that hiking really…” She yawns again. “Took it out of me.”
“Just relax, Monroe,” I whisper. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
“Mmkay. Goodnight…”
Sixty seconds later, Juliet’s asleep.
That was fast. I guess all this fresh air and exercise have really done a number on her. I lie still for a minute, watching her. The first thing she does is kick all the pillows she put up as a boundary straight onto the floor. Take that, anything in Juliet’s way when she’s trying to getcomfy.
I smile at that. She’s every bit as much of an ass-kicker and a name-taker when she’s asleep as when she’s awake. Gotta admire that.
But then she rolls over, wiggling until she’s pressed up against me. My body stirs, as if it’s been called into action. Which ithasn’t. As much as I glorify having an enormous cock and knowing just how to use it, at this very moment, I would appreciate having a smooth, Ken-like bump on my groin instead of a penis.
What if Juliet wakes up and I’m this close to her, all fucking horny? I don’t want to ruin the fragile maybe-peace we’ve found today.
She moves her head until it comes to rest on my biceps. Oh, this is double trouble. Her dark hair spills across my arm, her red-painted lips parting just so. I can feel heat brush against my skin as she draws gentle breaths.
I should move. Should rebuild the pillow wall and maintain some boundaries. Instead, I lie there listening to her breathe and trying not to think about how right this feels.
She fights me as if she’s trying not to feel something. And maybe that’s what pisses me off most about this whole situation. I feel it too. This pull between us that’s bigger than our fake engagement, bigger than the PR strategy we’re supposed to be executing.
It would be easier, safer, if I felt nothing. If I could just play my part, skate my games, fake a few smiles for the cameras and coast to the finish line when our contract expires.
But now she’s in my head. In my space. In my fucking bed with her hair smelling like something expensive and her body warm against mine.
And I’m not sure I know how to come back from that.
I watch her sleep for longer than I should, memorizing the way her eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks, the way her mouth relaxes when she’s not guarding every expression. She looks younger like this, softer. Less like the polished professional who can command a room full of executives and more like… justJuliet.
I think about what it would be like if this were real. If she were really mine, if I could wake up next to her every morning without pretending it’s just for show. If I could kiss her without it being a mistake that we both immediately regret.
But that’s not what this is. This is a business arrangement with an expiration date. And girls like Juliet don’t fall for guys like me, not without regretting it later when they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into.
Still, lying here with her curled against my side, I can almost convince myself that maybe, just maybe, some part of this could be real.
Even if I know better.
Even if I know I’ll probably ruin it, like I ruin everything else that matters to me.
But for now, in this cozy cottage by the sea, I let myself pretend. Just for tonight, as my eyes grow heavy with sleep.
Chapter15
Hunter
Before dawn, I wake to find her thigh draped over my hip and the soft weight of her hand resting so low on my stomach it’s not-quite touching my cock. I inhale sharply. Citrus and warm skin fill my head. I have to fight every instinct I have not to rock against her just to feel more.
Her breath is warm against my neck. One of her legs is hooked over my hip like she’s claiming territory. My dick is hard, of course it is, and I lie stone-still with my heart hammering, unsure if moving would make things better or worse.
