Page 195 of Dear #47, You're the Worst
“Me too.”
Like I’m drowning, I fall into his arms. I let him hold me while I grieve for the girl I was, who never knew she was worthy of this kind of love. I spent so much time protecting myself from the very thing I needed most.
“I love you. I adore you, and it’s terrifying, and I don’t know what to do with it.”
“Just feel it.” His hand strokes my hair. “Don’t control it or analyze it or make it into something manageable. Just let yourself feel it.”
“I don’t know how.”
“You’re doing it right now.”
We stand there for a long time. Me crying, him holding me, both of us finally admitting how scared we are of this thing between us.
When my tears finally subside, he pulls back to look at me.
“Better?”
I nod and wipe my face. “I think so.”
Hux kisses me then, and I kiss him back with desperation. I know that this kiss won’t chase all my fears away or strengthen me. But his touch silences my demons. It drives away the darkness.
What more can I ask than that?
Chapter46
Hunter
The suspension comes down twenty-four hours later. Two games for conduct detrimental to the league. The same bullshit they always trot out when they want to make an example of someone.
“Fuck.” I am pissed, but I also know Patrick deserved what he got, which tempers my feeling. Plus, he’s benched for five games for flying to my city, laying in wait for us, and starting the fight.
I should be furious about being suspended. Six months ago, I would have been. I would’ve raged about the injustice of it, about how Patrick baited me into it, about how the league always punishes the reaction but never the provocation.
Instead, I just feel tired. And strangely…relieved. Patrick deserves to be punched.
“You okay?” Juliet asks from the kitchen. She’s making coffee with the focused attention that means she’s trying not to hover.
I peer over the back of the couch. “Yeah. I think I am.”
She brings me a mug and settles beside me. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know. I keep waiting to be angry about it. The suspension, missing two games, Patrick getting exactly what he wanted.” I take a sip of coffee. “But I’m not.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“Because for the first time in my life, I defended someone I love. I can’t regret that. Even knowing the consequences.” I look at her. “He said those things about you and I couldn’t let it stand. I’d do it again.”
“Hux.” She rolls her eyes. I love the way she huffs out my name.
“I know it was stupid. It plays right into the narrative that I’m still the same guy with anger management issues. But I’m not sorry.”
“Well…” She’s quiet for a moment, processing. “The league called just now.”
I frown. “And?”
Juliet bites her lip. “The clip of Patrick going after me is everywhere. Reporters, players, even fans from rival teams are saying you did what anyone else would’ve done. The narrative flipped overnight.”
I blink, not trusting what I’m hearing.
