Page 72 of The Elusive Billionaire
“I’m not a liar, and until you can accept that, we have nothing to discuss.”
I press my hands to his chest with the intent of pushing him away, but the violent beating of his heart gives me pause.
It matches my own.
“You didn’t tell me who you were, Monroe.” His thigh presses between my legs, and my mind gets a little hazy. “You allowed me to open up, knowing it was me, and you never said anything.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. You needed a friend. You still need a friend, but you won’t let anyone in. I don’t regret being there for you.”
“Lies spun to gold don’t make them true.”
“If you’re never going to even attempt to see things from my point of view, then what are we doing here? Why this”—I glance at our surroundings—“fake engagement? We’re going to end up killing each other.”
His large frame presses tightly into mine, and neurons fire in all the wrong directions.
“I have a theory, and I made a decision. But before you get that information, I want to test my theory, and to do that, you need to tell me why you chose Firefly as your name.”
My gaze is glued to his neck as he swallows, his Adam’s apple prominent against his tan skin. Then he drops his head and runs his nose along the side of my cheek, his blond hair falling to skim my forehead. “Tell me.” It’s a demand my body wants to obey even as my mind tells it to stand down while screamingdanger,danger.
“I…”
He nips the lobe of my ear. It’s really freaking hard to focus with him this close.
“Fireflies flash in a pattern to attract their mate,” I manage.
“Yes, I did my own research when I left for California. And?”
He…what? “No. It’s not an and, it’s a but—the adults who glow only live a few short weeks. Like love, their life is fleeting.”
He pulls back and stares intently at every inch of my face. As uncomfortable as I am from the attention, I don’t back down. If telling him this one truth will make him forgive me, it’s worth it.
“Go on.” His words work like hypnosis in his deep, silvery voice.
“I’m getting older, and I don’t think I would make a very good mother, but growing up, I always imagined myself pregnant and with lots of babies. It makes no sense, since I knew I didn’t have a stable upbringing, therefore would have no idea how to offer one, but in all my daydreams, I was a mom.”
He encourages me with his eyes but says nothing.
“Now I’m a realist, Grey, and the reality is, kids are probably not in my future. I’m not even sure I deserve the happiness they bring, so I chose Firefly to remember the fleeting moments, the wants that will remain just out of reach.”
His hot breath brushes my ear, and it shouldn’t be so erotic.
“Becoming a surrogate,” I say. “It was my financial insurance policy in case I ever had to defend myself against the DeVanes or the Ashfords again, but it also would have given me a fleeting moment of happiness. I’d get to experience pregnancy without screwing up a kid in the process.” I nearly collapse with the confession, but Grey’s strong presence and his thigh wedged between my legs keeps me upright.
He doesn’t say anything, but his hand has found purchase against my cheek, his thumb slowly stroking back and forth as though he cares.
“Another example of me being selfish, I suppose.” I need to break our connection, but I can’t seem to gather enough strength to do it.
“For someone who helps other people for a living, you sure are all kinds of fucked-up.”
A chuckle bursts out of me. “Most therapists need therapy, didn’t you know that?”
He slowly shakes his head. “I do now.”
The silence becomes thick, and the urge to flee is overwhelming.
“I showed you mine, now show me yours. What’s your theory, and what’s your deal?”
Challenging him is safer than whatever is happening between us.
