Page 36 of Heart Strings & Hotlines
“She decorated her room in all black.”
“But did it make her happy or help her feel secure in your home?”
“How the fuck would I know? Those are questions for her.”
“They’re questions that you, as her guardian, need to ask yourself. You’re ripping your hair out because of the guilt inside yourself. But she’s a teenage girl, Thane. You can’t throw money at her and expect it to heal her pain.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I block out the world and take a deep breath, then force my fear out in words I never say out loud. “I’m not good for her, Rafe. I’m not normal, and I don’t know how to navigate her life. I don’t fit anywhere, and I don’t want her to suffer because I’m always on the periphery of those who are truly living.”
“But no one is truly normal, Thane, and you’re who she needs.”
My eyes pop open at the sound of Lottie’s soft voice.
“Sorry.” She stares at the ugly carpet below her feet. “I knocked and called up the stairs. No one answered.”
I wave her off.She can walk into my home anytime she wants.
Did my narrator really just say that?
“How—” No, that’s the tone people don’t like. I try again. “How’s Kara?”
Lottie’s nose scrunches up, but I still don’t know what that means.
“What is that face?” I ask.
Her gaze snaps to mine. “What face?”
“When you do this.” I scrunch my nose. “Why do you do it?”
She laughs, and the burning in my chest meets water, sizzling until the flame is extinguished.
“I—I really have no idea. Probably a lot of things. Right now, I guess it’s that I’m not sure how you’ll react to what I say next.”
A breeze hits the red embers, stoking the flame back to life. “Just say it.”
“Tone.” Rafe has far too much fun with that word.
“Please, say it.” The words hiss through my teeth. I’m not sure if that’s any better.
“Well, she’s asleep in my guest room. I promised to take her to a salon in the next town over first thing in the morning.”
My fingers begin to tap the four-count I live by, but I ball them into fists and rest them on my thighs. Lottie’s gaze stays on my fists, and I frown at Rafe who shrugs, so I stand and tuck them into my pockets. Some help he is.
“Do you hide from everyone in your life, Thane?” she asks.
“I don’t hide from anyone.” I almost want to call “tone” on myself, but I bite my tongue.
She places her hands on her hips and juts out a leg. It’s a powerful stance, one that challenges me, and the flames grow hotter. “Then show me your hands.”
“No.”
“Show me your hands.”
“Lottie.” If Rafe meant that as a warning, she doesn’t heed it.
No, this fucking woman stalks closer, bringing gasoline to my fire.
She’s standing too close. Her scent of lilacs overpowers the burning in my nose.
