Page 145 of Heart Strings & Hotlines
“Can we go sit outside? I can’t breathe in here.” I pick up a folded blanket and hold my arm toward the door.
She slow-blinks but follows me out toward the lake where the breeze picks up and whips my hair around my forehead.
The shift in air makes spreading the blanket out in the tall grass harder than it should be, but finally, we settle in.
“Anyway, then I met you at the nanny event, and I was being honest when I said Kara was drawn to you instantly. In fact, she never stopped talking about you, so yes, I put some pressure on your asshole of a neighbor and drastically overpaid for that ticking time bomb he called a house to get close to you, and I don’t regret that for a moment.
“But then I got here, and I spent time with you, and I knew instantly that I would never try to take your company away from you. I called my broker, that asshole Roger, who was standing with your dad, and told him to back off. I didn’t want him making any more offers or aggressively courting you anymore. I shifted LotiTech into a joint trust—my plan for LotiTech was always for it to be a partnership, similarly to how you’ll now run with the Fitzgerald Group.
“Roger and I had an agreement. He wasn’t supposed to release the information we’d collected due to the nature of my NDA. He’s been added to my takedown list, too.”
Lottie nods, shifting her focus from me out to the lake.
“But then, I realized you weren’t just fighting the lawsuit, but a hacker too, and yes, I accessed your network—but only to make sure no one else could. I was never trying to steal anything, and as soon as I got in, I set traps to alert me whenever anyone broke your security wall. I was not at all surprised to find out it was Jonah trying to get information he could use. He’s behind half of the investors you had planned to meet with, so I quietly bought those investment companies. They also went into a trust, and I have always intended for them to be yours. I don’t need the money. I have more than I could ever spend. My only goal is to see you succeed.”
“Thane.” Her voice is low and throaty, as if she’s holding back tears, and new panic rises in my chest.
I can’t lose her, I can’t.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about LotiTech,” I say in a rush. “I really am. I honestly never thought of it again after that conversation with Roger.” I tug on the back of my neck, then scratch my scalp to ease the full-body tension that won’t go away.
“Okay, I did think a couple of times that I needed to tell you about LotiTech, and that I had installed more security patches in your network, and I would have, but I didn’t know how. Since I’ve had you and Kara in my life, I seem to be fucking up the most important things at the worst possible times, and because I’ve never allowed myself to fail, I don’t know how to fix it when I do.”
She continues to stare straight ahead over the lake. The sun will set soon, and I wish I’d grabbed her a sweater.
Am I supposed to keep talking? I quickly run through everything I’ve said to ensure I didn’t leave anything out, but the words in my head are muddling together again.
Panic. Anxiety. Fight-or-flight.
If my body chooses flight again, I might lose her forever. That’s not an option. Choose to fight. Fight for her and Kara. Fight for happiness I have no right asking for but want anyway.
Fight.
Fight.
Fight.
She rests her head against my shoulder and sighs.
Love.
Love.
Love.
The long straw-like grass brushes against her bare arm, and she snuggles in closer to me. “I’m still furious with you.”
My arm freezes in the air, hovering just above her shoulder, where I’d been about to wrap it around her.
Furious. Okay. Furious is a higher level of angry, but not as volatile as rage. I can work with furious.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know if I’ve ever apologized to someone and meant it before. It’s a strange sensation that is not the least bit pleasant.
“I can be mad and still love you enough to not make you sleep in a camper van.”
Relief courses through my limbs. Sleeping in that thing was the very last thing I wanted to do.
She loves me.
