Page 59 of Love Notes & Lifelines
I eat in silence, thankful her gaze remains on the fire so I can memorize how the light dancing across her features reminds me of fireflies.
She’s beautiful. She might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’ve never wanted the complications that come with more than a one-night stand, but the strings that hang from Stella are already twining around my arms and legs.
How do I say no to the complication that is Stella Jane?
My silverware clatters when I set my plate down. “Cally and I carved our names on the underside of this table when I was six and she was thirteen or fourteen.”
Then I snap my lips shut so fast I almost bite my tongue. Where the hell did that story come from? I haven’t thought about that in years, yet here the memory sits, fully formed in front of my eyes.
“Did you get in trouble?” Stella asks, bringing the long-stem wineglass to her lips. When she pulls it away, they’re stained a deep red. I stare at the color until she licks them, then I jerk my gaze away.
“No,” I say quietly. “I don’t remember getting in trouble very often.” I don’t remember a lot of things, but I keep that to myself.
“Do you think it’s still there?” The excitement in her tone has my mood cautiously lifting.
“I’m sure it is.”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and I remember what it felt like to bite that same spot. Then she jumps up, sets her glass down, and crawls onto the floor. “Let’s find it.”
“Stella.”
“What side did you do it on?” Her energy is infectious, addicting, like winning the bid on a multimillion-dollar deal. It fills my body with adrenaline.
She scoots around on her back, trying to wedge herself between the floor and the table, and it’s so absurd, I laugh.
My fingers trace the edge of the old driftwood table, and for some inexplicable reason, I sink to my knees and shimmy along the floor to the far side where the knot in the wood calls to me.
“Over there, I think,” I say with a sigh.
She beats me to it, lying on her back and pushing herself beneath the table.
“Oh,” she gasps.
“What? Is it—is it gone?” Is that panic in my voice? Sadness?
“No. No, it’s…well, it’s here.”
What the hell does that mean?
Lowering myself to the floor, I slide in beside her. Stella shimmies and her side presses into mine, breathing life into me when I forget how to do it myself.
Beck + Call= Family foreveris still there.
But it’s what Cally wrote beneath it in black marker that clogs my lungs and burns my eyes.
Thank you, Beck. Thank you for loving the girls.
I love you always, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
And my love shines forever,
Call
My skin prickles everywhere. I can’t claw my way out from under the table fast enough. I can’t get far enough away.
“Beck.” Stella reaches out and touches my forearm, and for a brief second, the pain of betrayal doesn’t sting. But then Cally’s words ring in my ears, and I jerk away.
“Did you find a room? For yourself?” The words are harsher than she deserves.
