Page 96 of Your Last First Kiss
“Do not say his name right now,” I grind out. “I know you’ve only been with him, and that alone has me a hairsbreadth away from losing my damn mind because this, tonight, will be your last first time if I have anything to say about it. I’m going to erase every first he ever gave you, and I’m going to replace it with memories of me. Of us. And I’m going to fucking love defiling you that way every chance I get.”
Her eyes are so wide that I can’t stop the lecherous grin I give her as I slowly guide her to the bed.
“Say yes.”
“Yes,” she says without hesitation, and I drop my towel.
Penny’s eyes drop to my dick, and it twitches under her perusal, but when she licks her lips, it jerks up and bounces against my stomach.
“Holy hell,” she whispers.
I step forward so it’s level with her face but not quite touching and bend at my waist. “What did I say, baby? When you pray, you pray to me.”
Her mouth drops open, and I take full advantage. My lips cover hers in a dominating kiss that still manages to have a softness to it. The softness is all her. She’s the softness to my hard edges. My tongue dives in, searching, exploring, savoring her sweetness, and I groan into her.
“I’m going to undress you now.” My lips land on hers before she can reply, and I work my hands under her shirt, lifting as I go. I use the tips of my fingers to dance patterns up her spine.
Her body shudders as I lift the T-shirt over her head, then clench my teeth when I get my first look at her pale blue bra and tits that almost spill out of the cups.
I watch her eyes as I use my pointer finger to trace the edge of her lacy bra over the mound of one breast to the valley between and up over the other side.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” I murmur. There’s a sense of wonder in my tone, and I hope to God she hears it. She’s simply the most precious soul I’ve ever encountered. And I need her to be mine.
“Dillon,” she whispers, pressing up to place her cheek on mine as she says it.
I pull back to stare down at her body. She hollows herself out, trying to appear smaller, but I drift my fingertip down her sternum to her soft belly.
Her shoulders tense when I circle her belly button.
I intentionally crowd her, so she’s forced back onto her elbows. Her legs hang off the edge of the bed and I straddle them. Standing there, I scan her body. The small scars on her left side form a half-moon shape—a remnant from some surgery I don’t know about yet—and over her stomach that once housed three boys.
“I would have loved to see you pregnant.” The words slip from my mouth, but I don’t regret them. “Unhook your bra.”
Penny reaches up to the triangle of satin between her breasts with two hands. “Ah, there are scars here too.”
Confusion sets in, but I force myself not to frown.
What the hell kind of scars does she have on her tits?
“They’re pretty terrible,” she says, staring down, and I doubt she’s seeing anything but her own insecurities.
“Did someone hurt you?” Murder runs rampant in my veins. I’ll fucking kill Eddy.
Her head snaps up to meet my fierce expression. “No. God, no. Nothing like that. Eddy and I split up for a while before we got married. I used the time to work on myself. I—I hated my boobs.” She looks anywhere but at me. “They were always too big for my body and my back hurt all the time. And people looked at me differently no matter how conservatively I dressed.”
Reaching forward, I place two fingers under her chin and lift. When she finally drags her eyes to mine, I hold her captive. “What happened, sweetheart?”
“I had a breast reduction,” she says with a shrug. “I was happy at first, but then Eddy and I got back together. He said they looked like a science experiment gone bad. He always wanted me to keep a shirt on after that.”
How could she have ever been with someone like that? It doesn’t seem to fit the woman she is today.
As if she could hear my unasked question, she says, “I didn’t have very good self-esteem growing up. And with Eddy, I don’t know how it happened. It was easy, and I was happy enough. Then week by week, I lost myself. It got to the point where I really thought I was losing my mind. Now I know I was just losing myself because that’s how he wanted me. He twisted things up so much that I couldn’t remember how to breathe without him giving me permission.”
I lift my thumb to swipe softly across the bottom of her cheek while I calm my heart rate and choose my words carefully.
“Okay, let’s backtrack. You were happy when you first had the surgery. What about now that he’s out of the picture? How do you feel about them now?”
I have a feeling I already know, but like everything else with us, we’ll need to retrain our brains from what we thought we knew to what’s factual.
