Page 118 of Your Last First Kiss
“It’s true,” Kai points an accusing finger at Penny.
He’s radiating anger like a force field.
“What’s true, Kai?” Penny’s throat works hard at keeping her voice steady.
Kai scoffs and holds up his phone, where a video from the bar plays.
Someone recorded the entire damn mess.
“It’s not bad enough I have to go through life with everyone treating me like I’m already Dad, but now everyone at school knows my mom gets it on with strangers in dirty bar bathrooms,” he yells.
“Watch your tone, Kai. Your mother didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t know the entire story.” Penny flinches at my words, and the first fissure crackles in my heart.
“You are not my father,” he screams. “I don’t need one, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be you. Why are you even here? If all you want is my mom, why spend so much time hanging around here? We don’t need you, and I don’t want you here.”
“Kaiser,” Penny says sternly. It’s one of the few times I’ve heard her use a mom voice with him. “That’s enough. Dillon is a—he’s a guest here. He’s been a wonderful—friend. You need to apologize right this second.”
“Friend?” he scoffs again. “Friend? Do you think I don’t hear him sneaking out of your room every morning? Do you think I don’t notice the way he looks at you? At us? Like we’re a family that needs saving. You always said we weren’t a charity case, but did you ever tell him that?”
“I said enough,” she fumes, and her body begins to tremble even more. “I get that you’re angry, but I work too hard for you to disrespect me in my own home. You have a right to your feelings, Kai, but you do not ever have the right to take them out on anyone else.”
I watch it all unfold in front of me. A witness and not a participant. Another crack bursts in my heart.
“So, you’re going to choose him just like Dad chose Aster. Aren’t you?”
Penny’s hurt gasp cuts me wide open.
“He broke us, but at least he had the decency to come clean when confronted with the truth. You’re both cowards.” He spins on the stair like he’s going to walk away, but I catch him by the elbow and hold him in place.
With him standing on the second stair, we’re eye to eye.
“Dillon,” Penny pleads.
“If you think what your father did was brave, then you have more growing up to do than I realized.” Kai’s eyes rage with unspoken words. “This isn’t a drive-by for me, Kai. I’ve said that I’m all in. With your mom, your siblings, and you.” He rolls his eyes and tries to pull free from my grasp, but I keep him still so we can finish this conversation.
“Did we sneak around for a while? Yes, we did. Because your mom loves you enough not to bring a string of people who will hurt you into your lives. Someday, when you’re done being angry at the world and start taking responsibility for what you can control, you’ll understand that.”
“Dillon, please let me handle this,” Penny tries again.
“I love your mom, Kai. I love your siblings, and I love you. I think I have for a long time, but trust is earned. You may push, but I promise you, I’ll keep showing up. Over and over again until you believe me.”
“Just go away,” he spits. “I don’t want a father figure. I don’t need promises. I don’t need anything from you except for you to leave and never come back.”
“That’s one promise I can’t make,” I say calmly.
The rage that’s burning inside him bursts free. “If it was him or me, who would you choose, Mom?”
“Kai, you’re angry and upset. Don’t make this worse for your mother.”
“Stop telling me what to do.”
His voice is so loud that a door opens at the top of the stairs, and then Landon is standing there, clutching Mari to his chest, watching this mess. Fuck.
“Who do you choose?”
“I’ll always choose you, Kai. You know that.” Tears stream down her face as she speaks, and my heart spirals toward a very painful collision. I don’t know how to fix this.
“Then break up with him. Tell him to stop coming here. I already wear Dad’s crappy life like a beacon, begging jerks to come for me. Don’t make it happen because of you too.”
