Page 108 of One Little Mistake
“Actually, yeah. I have to find Ash. Get your shit together, East,” he grumbles on his way out the door.
“When did I become the most fucked up brother?”
“When you turned into a pecker and hurt your girl so badly, she ran away from her own home,” Loki deadpans. “I’ve been there, dude. We both hurt our girls on purpose, and women may forgive, but they never fucking forget. You need an epic gesture to win her back.”
Fuck. Are they right?
I listen as Dexter throws out one ridiculous plan after another while my mind drifts to Lexi. Showy isn’t her style, but they’re right … I’m going to need something big to get through to her.
* * *
I’m back at the scene of my crime. The old, yellow Victorian stands against a clear, blue sky, mocking my foul mood. I need answers, though. Answers only he can give me.
“Forgiveness is a powerful thing, Easton. Only the strongest people possess that power. There will be times in your life when you’re tested. Times when it’s easier to hold a grudge, but bitterness weighs heavy on a man’s soul. A true test of character is the ability to acknowledge your pain without drowning in it, then throwing the life raft to those who hurt you.”
My father’s words are coming more frequently lately, and I realize it’s because of Lexi. She forced me to open myself up again, and in doing so, the love I’ve pushed away for so long invades my consciousness.
“Welcome to the mother fucking chaos,” I whisper just before I pull the door open.
I find Dillon at the same table in the backroom, but this time pain replaces the rage. With the veil of hatred lifted, I notice the years have not been kind to my old friend, and misplaced guilt tears at my gut.
My movements alert Dillon I’m here, and he stands uncomfortably. “East, I-I’m glad you came.”
Unsure of what to say, I nod and grab a chair from a neighboring table.
“I’m so sorry, East. It was never supposed to go on this long. I …”
“I just don’t understand, Dill. If everything Ash says is true, why wouldn’t you have come to me?”
“I couldn’t, not at first. Ness didn’t have sufficient information. She overheard just enough of a conversation to know Patrick was coming after your family. When she got sick …” He tears his gaze away. “It was hard, East. It was so hard not to tell you, but we were just kids. We thought we were protecting you.”
“It’s been eight years, Dillon.” My voice raises to an unacceptable level, and we get shushed.
“The plan was for me to work for him. Just for a few months to get the proof we needed, and then I was going to come to you. But, East? The longer I was in, the more shit I found out, and it just snowballed. Suddenly, it became easier for me to sabotage from the inside than to get to you. The more time passed, the harder it became to explain.”
“So you just, what? Spent your life protecting mine? Knowing I hated you? We were all you had, Dillon. We were your family. You had to have known you could come to us. How could you not have come to us?”
“I was a kid, East. We both were. Ness was scared for you when she died. You were our best friend. The best person we knew. So I promised her on her deathbed that I wouldn’t allow her father to hurt you.”
“That doesn’t make any fucking sense, Dillon. My family would have fixed this.”
He finally makes eye contact, and I see the pain I’ve carried all these years in his expression.
“Why? Why would you have given up everything you loved to do this?”
“Because you were my brother, Easton. You would have done the same thing.”
Would I have?Could I have become a martyr to protect those I love? I rest my head in my hands as eight years’ worth of pain fights to be set free.
“I’m sorry we hurt you,” he whispers. “But Patrick is fucked up, East. And … And I’m afraid for Pacen.”
“That’s why you’re telling me now?”
“I had to make a choice, East. I know you can protect yourself now, but Pacen? She’s an innocent. He’s used her as a pawn for years. He’s forced her into so many dangerous situations I couldn’t protect her from. I tried, I did. But now … now I think she’s in real trouble. She’s the only family I have left, and—” He breaks down before me.
Forgiveness. He needs my forgiveness.
“She’s not the only family, Dill. You’ll always be a part of the chaos.”
