Page 112 of Romancing His Heart
“You’re saying I’m worth it. When no one else in your life has ever been, you’re saying I’m worth staying for?” The sob that escapes rips my throat raw.
“Yes. No, I mean, yes, of course, you’re worth it, but I can’t stay. I have to catch Vic and help Luca. You know that.”
For how long, Loki? How long will I be worth it?
“Loki, don’t do this. We both know it can’t go anywhere. You deserve someone like Emory or Lanie. You deserve the heroine that’s your equal in every way—a woman that’s not as broken as I am. I don’t even know if I want children, not that I think this would go that far. I-I’m just not what you need, can’t you see that? I can barely take care of myself. I’m not equipped to care for someone else, too. I-I’m not what you need.” It takes every ounce of strength I have to push those words past my lips, and I cough to cover another sob trying to force its way out.
An unfamiliar buzzing sound fills the room, and Loki grabs a phone from his back pocket.
“What?”
While someone speaks on the other end, I hug myself tightly. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out from him. He’s saying all the right words. He’s here, saying he cares about me, and I want nothing more than to believe him.
“No, I need more time to—”
I back myself into a corner as I watch his demeanor change.
“I-I can’t do that, Ash.”
His gaze cuts me to the bone. Whatever Ash is saying is breaking Loki right before my eyes. He turns his back to me before hanging up. When Loki turns back, there’s a darkness in his eyes I’ve never seen before. As he glares at me, a painful chill runs through every fiber of my being.
His jaw clenches so tightly I can see the veins bulging in his neck and forehead, and he’s breathing heavily through his nose. I’m reminded of a dragon when he is like this. Whatever happens next will wreck me. I can tell by his eyes. He’s preparing to break me.
Loki takes a step forward before catching himself and taking three steps back. He rubs a hand over his face, and when he looks at me again, his expression is stony and ice cold.
“You’re right. I’m not the one for you because my job will always come first.”
I suck in air so forcefully it hurts.
He’s playing with me, just like the rest of them.
“You were a fun distraction, but you’re a child afraid of your own shadow. You have childish fears that hold no weight in my world. I only came here as a courtesy to say good-bye and to let you know you don’t have to worry about the remainder of your lease. It’ll be nice to have my own space again.”
I stare at him, unblinking.This is what I wanted, right?I’m vaguely aware that I’m bobble-heading him again, but I can’t form words. My throat is so dry I can’t swallow, and if I open my mouth, I might vomit.
“I have to get going. Ash is waiting for me. It was good to see you, though. I’m sure I’ll see you around at family functions and such.” His steady voice masks Loki’s pained expression. If I hadn’t been looking, I would have thought he was leaving here unscathed.
My head bobs in agreement. Before I know what’s happening, Loki slams the door, and I crumble to the ground where I stood. Tears I once left unshed flow freely for the man who just crushed my soul without even trying.
Painful, devastating sobs wreak havoc on my body as I curl into the fetal position on the kitchen floor. I curse myself for catching feelings. I curse Loki for getting my hopes up, but mostly, I curse my inability to be loved by a man like him.
Chapter 37
Loki
Isit just outside of the door, with my head pressed against it until Ashton comes to collect me. I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I let her agonizing cries torture me for almost forty-five minutes because I deserve the pain.
“Loki, we have to go. I’ll call Emory and have her come down to stay with Sloane. You did the right thing. Someday she’ll see that.”
“No,” I choke out. “I just broke the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known. Not just broke it. I shattered her into a million pieces to keep her safe. I don’t think the damage I caused her already fragile trust will ever recover.” My words come out through mucus-filled sobs of agony. I’ve been through every kind of hell during my days in SIA. Not a single one of those has ever hurt like this.
“You didn’t have a choice, man. Vic is too dangerous. If he’s watching her as closely as our intel says, you know this was the only way to keep her safe.”
“What did you find out?”
“Ryan sent it over just before I called you. Mikhailov put a hit out on Sloane unless we return Nadja to him within the week.”
“He’s pitting me against Luca.”
