Page 28 of The Beat of My Heart
Leaning in to kiss me gently, he tells me, “I’m glad I’m the only one then,” patting my ass, he scoots me towards the bathroom, “now, hurry up, I don’t want to be late for this big game.”
Silently I walk towards the bathroom, wondering what it all means.
I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t mess around when it comes to baseball. Ten minutes later, I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed waiting for Charlie. I heard his shower shut off a couple of minutes ago. He had left our connecting doors open.I wonder if he did that on purpose?
Grabbing a pen from my purse, I scribble pros, cons, and questions. Under questions, I write, ask Lanes how to handle the open door. For pros, I write he is fucking hot, and for cons, I’m about to write I’ll end up hurt when I feel a hand on my arm, and I jump right out of my skin.
“What the fuck?” I scream as I tumble backward and have almost rolled right off the bed when Charlie’s unyielding hands steady me.
“You really have a strong startle reflex, don’t you, Angel?” he laughs.
“Jesus, stop sneaking up on me,” I sulk.
“Okay, I’ll try.” He isn’t even trying to hide his laughter. “Imagine my surprise when I walk in here, fully expecting to be waiting on you, to find you ready to go, and lost in that gorgeous head of yours. Tell me, Angel, what has you so lost in thought there?” he asks, grabbing for my list.
Refusing to let it go, he rips my list in half. Luckily for me, all he has on his piece is how to handle open doors.
“Do you do this a lot?” he asks.
“Do what?” I volley, wrapping my arms around myself as I feel my defenses rising.
Is this where he will realize what an odd duck I am and be on his way?
Sitting beside me on the bed, he places my hand in his, “Relax, Angel. I’m just asking, do you make lists like this a lot?”
Not sure why he is asking, I just shrug, “Yeah, it is kind of my crutch. At work, I never second guess myself, I don’t have to, I’m the best at what I do. I’m in complete control. In life? Not so much, I need to see things in black and white to work them out most of the time. Why? Do you think it’s weird?”
Rubbing his thumb back and forth across the top of my hand, he looks from it to me, and I see the honesty written in his eyes. “No, I don’t think anything about you is weird, Angel.” Kissing the side of my head, he says, “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”
I watch as he enters his room and is back within seconds with a leather-bound notebook in his hands. Sitting back down next to me, I watch as he opens to the last used page. In bold, scratchy writing, I see two columns: pros and cons. My eyes snap to his.
“You only beat me getting ready because I made my list before I showered,” he tells me as I stare at him open-mouthed like a blowfish. Folding the paper in half length-wise, he hands me the notebook. “I want to show you my pros. I wish I could show you the cons just to prove it has absolutely nothing to do with you and nothing to do with another woman. I just can’t, Angel. I do, however, want you to see my pros.”
Taking the notebook from his hands, I stare at his handwriting, not really reading as I run my fingertips over his penmanship.
“It is just a coincidence; it doesn’t mean anything…”
“I beg to differ, Angel, but given the circumstances, meaning something isn’t enough,” he says, and I wonder what the darkness is that binds him.
“Does it have something to do with your father?” I blurt out.
“What?” he asks in a tone I’ve yet to hear from him.
“The man in your room earlier? He was your father, yes? You have his eyes, I’ve never seen anything like them before, but they were a dead giveaway that you were related,” I tell him.
“Fuck,” I watch as Charlie runs a hand through his hair and starts bouncing his knee like he is trying to pump the breaks in a car that has none.
Placing my hand on his knee, he calms immediately. Interesting,maybe I have the same effect on him?“It’s okay, Charlie. I’m not asking you to tell me, I was just making an observation. Your demeanor changed when he was here. Whatever darkness haunts you, I’m sure comes from him.”
Resting his head against mine he says, “You have no idea.”
Leaning into him, I truly look at his words for the first time.
Pros:
-She is smart as hell
-She’s the most gorgeous woman I've ever met
