Page 88 of Cross My Heart
“Hey,” she is subdued, not a great sign for me, “Lanie is going to talk to you early in the morning. She is going to come home for Thanksgiving. I want to give you a heads up so you can react calmly. I bought her a ticket so she will fly instead of drive. She won’t be here forever.”
I sink down onto my bed, deflated.
“Dex, she is just confused. It’s been a strange year for her, but I promise you, she will come back.”
“I would have gotten her a ticket,” seems like a strange thing to say, but it’s all that comes out.
“Dex, it isn’t about the money. Lanie could have bought the ticket, she is just too frugal to spend the money. I bought it, knowing she wouldn’t be able to let it go to waste. You’re going to have to support her, help her make Tate understand. I’ll talk to her the second she lands and report back to you. She didn’t say much on the phone. I’m sure I’ll get it out of her on the drive back to the mountain.”
Sighing, my voice thick with emotion, I tell Julia, “I’ll do my best.”
An hour later, I’m lying in my bed staring at my ceiling when a soft knock comes from the doorway.
“Lanie? You don’t have to knock, come in.” I tell her, waving her over with one hand, lifting the covers for her with the other.
She doesn’t move and doesn’t look at me.
“You’re going back to Vermont, aren’t you?” I say, slowly lowering the covers back to the bed. This catches her by surprise and she finally lifts her head.
“Just for a few days, I’ll be back on Monday. I’m leaving early in the morning, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure I talk to Tate myself before I go. I’ll make him understand I’ll be back on Monday.” Her voice is soft, and her head bowed once again.
“For how long, Lanie? How long will you be back for?” I know it’s a shitty thing to say to her, she is vulnerable right now, but I’m hurting too. I’m scared to death something so innocent is what is going to take her from us.
“Dexter, that’s not fair. I never made any promises to you or anyone else. I’m doing the best I can. I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t break the surface. I just need a few days at home to sort things out,” she explains.
“I was hoping this was becoming your home too, Lanie.” I lie back down on my pillow, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. “We will drive you to the airport whenever you are ready.”
She doesn’t say anything, and when I look up, she has gone back to her room.
“Fuck,” I yell to an empty room.
* * *
This morning was brutal.An awkwardness settled over me and Lanie that had never been there before. I fucking hated it.
As promised, she spoke to Tate, in private, and I was surprised when there were no tears from him. Tate sat in the back of the car the entire way to the airport, chatting happily away with her.
Lanie’s departure is quick. She gives all the kids kisses, giving me one on the cheek while never making eye contact.
On the way home, I check the rearview mirror to see Tate smiling. “What are you thinking about, buddy?”And how do I get some of that happiness?
“What kind of cookies Mimi’s going to make me,” he smiles. “Lanie is going to bring them back, just for me.” Suddenly serious, he says, “Don’t worry, Dad. She is coming back. She didn’t take our family picture with her, she showed me. She said wherever she was living, she’d always take that with her. So, see, she will be back. She made all the pies last night and told me all the food is ready to be cooked so we can still have everyone over tomorrow.”
Completely shocked, I ask, “What do you mean, Tate? What food?”
He smiles. “Lanie said you might be mad. She stayed up last night to make four different kinds of pie and got all the food ready. She said she left instructions on everything, and all you have to do is turn the oven on.”
I’m speechless.
Tate starts talking away again in the backseat, but I only hear bits and pieces. My mind is on the woman boarding a plane right now headed for Vermont.
We walk in through the front door and I hear Trevor and Preston. Rolling my eyes, I follow their voices to the family room where some college football game is on. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Hi to you too,” says Trevor. In a kinder voice, he says, “Jules texted, said you might need some help getting ready for tomorrow.”
Tate comes running in behind me, almost knocking a lamp off the table he collided with. “Hi, uncle Trevor, Hi Preston. Nope, we don’t need help. Lanie made everything last night.” They both look from Tate to me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know, Tate says she told him it's all done, just needs to be put in the oven, I haven’t had a chance to check.”
