Page 4 of Cross My Heart
I can hear Julia on the phone from my room. She is downright scary at work. People who don’t know her and even people who do would never believe how strong she is when she is working. Before the attack, it had been my goal to get that confidence she has at work to carry over to the rest of her life. Someday, when I’m less broken, I’ll find a way to show her just how amazing she is.
I stare at the list we made last night. It started with grandiose plans of Paris, LA, Seattle, and North Carolina. Paris for obvious reasons, LA, because hello? Celebrities! I chose Seattle because of Kirk Cobain, but it got nixed immediately. I wasn’t starting a new life somewhere that rained more days than not. I crossed Paris out too. I couldn’t start a new life somewhere I didn’t even speak the language, not to mention I had never left the United States except to go to Canada with Jules and her parents a couple of times.
That left North Carolina. The only place I ever truly felt safe and at home. Julia’s parents have a beach house in the Outer Banks, a town called Corolla, and they brought me with them for two weeks every summer, sometimes for the week between Christmas and New Year’s too.
It was my time visiting North Carolina that I felt whole. Real. Loved. Really loved and worthy of that love. As I stare at the screen, a wave of memories from the Outer Banks washes over me. I don’t know how long I have sat here before Julia walks back into my room, scaring the crap out of me.
“North Carolina, huh?” She asks, and I nearly jump off my bed, making her laugh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
When I am finally settled back on top of my pale blue comforter, I tell her, “I think so. It’s the only place I ever felt truly at home. I mean, besides your house and GG’s.” I feel a little guilty saying that, but it is honest, and Jules knows it.
“I know, Lanes.” She rubs her hands together and sits down. “Alright, let’s do this.”
“Do what?” I eye her cautiously.
“Well, let’s figure out where in North Carolina. You know you are always welcome to stay at the beach house, but I’m not sure the Outer Banks is the best place either. You know how dead it is around there in the offseason.”
“Jules, it’s not like I plan on going clubbing, maybe quiet is just what I need?”
Blatantly ignoring me, she says, “As I said, my parents would love to have you stay there where they can keep tabs on you, but let’s talk about this first. Maybe a compromise? Something by the water but still close enough that I can get to you…ah, I mean visit you without the 6-hour drive from an airport. Somewhere close enough to city life that it doesn’t become a complete ghost town in the winter. Let’s look along the coast.” She does a little shimmy-shake; research is her drug of choice.
I know what she means, I may have been her protector for fifteen years, but she has become my savior in the last year and a half. She said "get" to me in case I break down again, and I love her for it.
“Fine Miss Google, let’s find me a job and a place to live.” I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.
Two hours later, she squeals again. “Lanie, I have the perfect town…see how cute these pictures are? It’s called Waverley-Cay, and it is only about an hour and a half away from the Coastal Carolina Airport.”
It looks like a cute little vineyard town, but fancier somehow.
“You have to read their little town paper; it sounds like ours. Miss Popper, whoever she is, must be quite the town gossip, just like our Miss Rosa. I don’t think there is a single piece of actual news here, but I can tell you about the church dinner and who was caught on a date last week. This is too much.”
Good Lord.Do I really want to trade one small town for another? I know what small-town life is like here, so maybe it will be nice having that same familiarity, albeit with warmer weather and the ocean!
“I’ve also been thinking about your job situation. You want something temporary, right?Why don’t you consider nannying like you did in college?”
I sit straight up. “I hadn’t even thought about that. A nanny gig for a year would be perfect.”
“Mm-hmm, I even found some placement agencies in between my work calls.”
“You did? So, you knew I was going to pick North Carolina, huh? Am I that predictable?”
“No. You’re not.” Julia smiles. “But you can’t know someone almost your entire life and not come to the same conclusions sometimes.”
“This. This right here,” I say, pointing between the two of us, “is one of the many reasons I luvs you, Jules.”
* * *
Two weeksand several phone conversations with the Nanny placement agency later, I’m packing up my belongings into my old but trusty silver Toyota Corolla. Jules and Charlie are standing by, waiting to give me the thousandth hug of the day.
I lean in and hug them tight.“It’s only a year, and you’ll visit, right? We can facetime every day!”
Jules tries not to cry as she replies, “Every day. This move is going to be so good for you, Lanie, really good. I can feel it.”
With one more hug for each of them, I climb in my car and set off on my fifteen-hour journey to North Carolina.
Dex
Chapter 2
